It begins with the phone call. The heartbreak starts. You hear the phone clatter to the floor. Is this all a dream? You’ve heard that evil word so many times. Cancer. Just the sound of it brings you to tears. Suddenly, you begin to think in terms of “before” and “after”. These colorful ribbons you have seen everywhere now hold a special place in your heart. A million thoughts begin to circulate in your mind.

Denial. Not you; not her. She is your hero; how could this be? Sickness was never part of the plan. Mothers take care of their daughters, not the other way around. Your mother is invincible. Nothing can break her.

Anger. Why your mother? The woman you love, the one who fed you when you were hungry, wiped away your tears of sadness, and taught you to be strong just like her. Your mother does not deserve this pain. How can this be fair?

Bargaining. You wish to feel her pain instead. Anything so you don’t have to watch her suffer. You will give anything to trade places. You promise to be a better person. Anything but this, God. Please.

Depression. This is it. The “great pain” every person is destined to suffer. It’s different for you. This pain does not resonate in your body like it does in hers. You do not have the medicine running through your veins, instead you have a pain that pounds with every beat of your heart.

Acceptance. You are now the one cooking her food, wiping away her tears, yet she remains the strong one. Sick or not. She tells you everything will be alright. No matter what, your mother is still your mother.

This illness is a double edged sword; one edge, the unbearable pain, the other, a form of love that has been waiting for a time like this to show itself. Your family becomes your safe haven. They know that this is their time to be there for you. Somehow this monster that seems to have destroyed your life, has brought you and your family closer. You realize that love is intrinsic; this being the kind of love only a mother can give. As a daughter, you always felt this love yet never gave it yourself. But now, in a time like this, you must give this love back to your mother.

This disease that has taken over your mother’s life and your own has opened your eyes. She is a fighter. She is even more beautiful without hair. Her frailty screams strength. Her light of heroism is not diminished, but instead becomes even more luminescent. You realize that illness does not always leave your life in shambles because sometimes it becomes the foundation for a love you did not know existed.