I recently just broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years because he cheated on me. It took me over a month to finally make my decision.
You find out...
No matter if it was an emotional affair or a physical one, it hurts. You sit there and think to yourself, "was it me?" "is there something wrong with me?" "is there anything I could've done different?". You can't do that to yourself. There is nothing you could've done or not done that would've changed the outcome.
He will deny it (more than likely) or own up to it...
Personally, my ex did both. At first, he denied it, but once I told him I had proof, then he confessed. He told me that he downloaded Tinder "to make friends"... we both knew damn well it wasn't to make friends. I'm not stupid. He was talking and snapchatting other girls behind my back. He then tried to blame the guys he worked with for him downloading the app because they "pressured" him. He was in the military too so we were already very limited to how much we could talk, but then to find out that he was using the time he DID have to talk to other girls.
Regardless, if they own up to it or deny it, it doesn't make it any better or easier.
He'll beg to have you back...
He will tell you that he learned his lesson and that he's sorry. He will say all the right things to make you feel good and make you second guess if you should be with him or not. He will send you paragraphs and try busting his ass to "prove" to you that he won't do it again. That may be true. He may have learned his lesson and will never do it again, but you'll never know.
This is the phase where you have to make a decision, to stay with him or to leave him. Me and my ex were in this phase for a month. I didn't know what I wanted (and I found someone else who I started to like, but that failed so I felt even more stuck). He had talked to me every day telling me that he wanted a life with me and that he'd treat me so much better than before. He told me everything I wanted to hear.
You make your decision...
This part can take more time for others, it just depends on your personality and how long it takes you to battle your head vs your heart. Whatever decision you make, you will have no idea if it is the right decision or not.
My decision was the hardest one I've ever had to make. I was still in love with him. I still care about him. However, at the end of the day, I was so hurt. It had already been a month a half and I was still upset about what happened. I couldn't get over it. Not to mention, I would never forgive myself if I got back with him and he did it again. The things he was telling me were so sweet, but I didn't love him the same way I did before. I couldn't be with him when I couldn't give him my heart. It wasn't fair to either one of us.
