Last month I found out that you cheated on me. This wasn't the first time, but in that moment I realized it will for sure be the last time. Sitting on the bed next to you as I looked through your phone, seeing those messages physically hurt my heart. I felt as if I was worthless and I was never going to be enough for you. I stared into your eyes that were full of indifference. For the first time, I could tell that you didn't care about my feelings.

You watched me tear up in front of you and all you could say is, “I did nothing wrong, you're overreacting”. After hearing those words is when I finally realized that, for once, I deserve better. I made you leave and you walked out on me with zero regrets. I sat on that bed crying for a week straight. In the midst of that week, I let you explain yourself, but you kept lying and hurting me even more. I made the situation worse by letting you in. I needed you and you failed to be there for me.

You said you would never give up on us, but you walked out on me. You said you wanted to marry me, but you weren’t faithful. You said you needed me, but you also needed other girls. You told me you loved me, but you made me feel like you hated me. You didn’t love me.

Someone like you isn’t capable of love.

When you love someone, being faithful is easy. When you love someone, you go above and beyond for that one person just to make them happy. When you love someone, you don’t give up on them. When you love someone, you admit your mistakes to them. When you love someone, you communicate with them. I can truly say I did all of these things for you. When I was with you I felt like I didn’t need to be someone else. I never played games with you.

I always told you how I felt. I gave you the world because I thought you deserved that from me. I was never anything but honest with you from the start. You never had to build yourself up to make me like you. I loved you for you.

I wanted you all along because I thought you were the one. I didn't have to think about anyone else because you were everything I had ever wanted. Being faithful wasn't even a question. My loyalty, attention, and love were promised from me and you took an advantage of that.

You truly broke my heart. God knows how much I fought for you. God knows that I truly loved you. I always made excuses for you because I saw potential in you. The love I had for you made me blind to the red flags. The lies you told me just to make me happy trapped me. You showered me with affection, but let me dry using the cold breeze you created when you ignored me for other girls. I had this vision of you, but it wasn't actually you.

You made me feel like I had fallen in love with a ghost because who I thought you were was so far from who you really are.You were just a shadow of a whole person. You weren't the one, but you showed me what to look for in the man for me. So, I thank you for that. Even though you broke me, I’m going to thank you for a lot of things because you showed me how strong of a person I am and I truly needed to see that for my own good.

• Thank you for showing me my capacity of unconditional love. I put you before anyone and anything, even myself. I made you my priority because nothing was more important to me than your happiness. This is real love and I hope I find someone who matches the amount of energy I put into you.

• Thank you for making me realize how much my friends and family sincerely love me. They were there when you should have been. They didn’t have to be there because I didn’t listen to them when they first tried to warn me about you. I used to get mad at them for trying to get me to break up with you. But, they saw past my mistakes because they truly care for me.

• Thank you for the amazing memories. Even though you hurt me, I will never forget the good times we shared together because that was something extremely special to me. I can honestly say you made me the happiest girl in the world at a point. We shared so many laughs, joyful experiences, and deep conversations that have truly changed my perspective on life.

I know you still don’t think you're in the wrong and maybe that’s ok for now. But I hope one day you decide to mature and realize that no one deserves to go through the pain that you put me through.

I believe everything happens for a reason. God put me through this because he knew I could handle it and because I needed to grow as a person and better myself.

So, however you see this situation just know that you could've won with me, but you chose not to.