I did an article a while back about men saying what they wished they could say to women (and if you have not seen that article, feel free to click the link right HERE to view it), and the results were so intriguing that I decided to do the exact opposite of that article, writing what women wished they could say to men.
The women I asked were offered a bit of a variety of question, so it ended up being more of a "What do you wish you could say to men/what do you wish men knew/ what do you wish men understood." Regardless, I ended up with a lot of answers, and a lot of #metoo thoughts.
1. I wish men understood what it’s like to always assume strangers have ulterior motives when they talk to you, and always have your guard up.
2. If I am frustrated or stressed or tired, don’t assume that ‘a good roll in the hay’ is going to solve my frustration/stress/tiredness.
3. Why do you have to be so awful? #patriarchy
4. Go see a therapist. Women aren’t things that you can take your issues out on. Be healthy and talk to a professional.
5. Not everything is about your dick.
6. Treat women as your equal and stand up to your guy friends when they are being disrespectful towards women. Women everywhere will thank you for respecting them enough to call out other people’s BS.
7. I wish men understood that they are NOT entitled to my time or attention.
8. I wish men understood that when I say I’m a feminist, that doesn’t mean i think women are better. Being a feminist means I want men and women to be held equally!
9. Men need to take more responsibility for themselves and their actions. In my experience men will not only get away with harmful behavior, but aren't expected to accept that they've done something wrong or be willing to change their behavior.
10. I wish men understood the concept of male privilege; For example, I won’t run outside at night because I’m worried I’ll be attacked. But men don’t have that worry. Or I don’t drink alcohol at parties because I’m worried that someone will slip something into my drink because I’m a female and they feel entitled to me.
11. I wish men understood that us (women, that is) being polite and nice to them is not flirting. Which means that just because I'm smiling at you, Brad, does not mean I want to suck your dick. Maybe I'm just trying to buy something at the convenience store, dude.
12. Women don’t get their hair and nails done for men to notice. Men should know we do those things for us to feel good! Self pampering! Not about men to notice, because they don’t!
13. We don’t always have to meet up perfectly to your standards.
14. I am more than my body, so stop ogling it when I am trying to have a conversation with you.
15. One bad boyfriend has ruined my thoughts about romance. I don’t mean to take it out on you, other men. I just don’t have the natural trust I used to in people.
16. Women always find out the truth. Always.
17. As a whole, you’re all perverted pieces of shit.
18. No means no.
19. I don’t want to have to act like the bitch who could knock your ass out just to be treated with professional courtesy. But if it comes to that, I WILL be the bitch who knocks your ass out.
20. A good massage from my boyfriend can fix anything. (I’ve never had a boyfriend give me a massage before).
21. I wish [men] went on a date with me or got to know me before not talking to me again.
22. Don’t only talk to me when you want attention.
23. You’re never going to know what I’m like or who i could be to you if you never make an effort to even get to know me.
24. Women evaluate everything. Even the tiny things make our minds conjure up millions of perceptions of one thing.
25. Life as a woman is challenging as it is, so just mean what you say and say what you mean to save us some stress.
26. I wish men understood BASIC CONSENT. Just ‘cause I didn’t scream or slap you in the face doesn’t mean what you’re doing is okay.
27. Don’t continue to do something if I say no or back away. If I am backing away and taking your hand off me, I mean no. Stop trying.
28. I wish both men and women received an adequate sex education. I wish men knew that women do not pee out of their vagina and understand that women can have multiple orgasms. I wish men knew how to find the clitoris.
29. Never ask a woman is she is pregnant, on her period, PMSing, or on the rag. It’s none of your business is we are, and until you can bleed from your vagina, birth a child from your body, or feel menstrual cramps, you have no right to judge.
30. [Men] occupy a space in privilege every single day.
31. Even with the current mood being ‘men are bad,’ they are in fact not. They are awesome.
32. I wish men knew about proper parenting techniques and healthy ways of expressing emotion and how to take care of the spaces in which they live, because they f***ing live there.
33. When a female dresses nice/does her makeup, it is not for a man. It is for herself.
34. Women are capable of just as much as men are and do not need men to accomplish their goals.
35. I wish men knew about the dangers of HPV and STIs that don’t have presenting symptoms.
36. I wish men knew about the wage gap and how it is exacerbated by the intersectionality of being a person of color.
37. I wish men knew that we don’t all think they’re bad. I get the feeling that they think women think they’re terrible, but not all men are terrible. There are some decent ones out there.
38. I wish men knew that when they ‘compliment’ random women as they pass by, we don’t feel complimented. WE FEEL AFRAID.
39. I wish I could be brutally honest with men. I feel like sometimes women have to be careful what they say to men to protect their egos and it’s incredibly frustrating.
40. I wish men understood how threatening and intimidating they can be to women. Sometimes they don’t mean to be, but it very easily comes across that way.
41. When girls say “I’m fine” or “I don’t want to talk,” they really are not fine and want to talk.
42. Sometimes when we tell you things, we don't expect or want you to fix it for us. We just want you to listen.
43. Stop just expecting shit..sometimes you need to ASK for it.
44. Look for something for yourself before asking me for it...like asking for where the peanut butter is when you KNOW where we keep it.
45. (From a wife to a husband)- If you see something that needs to be done, do it--don't leave it for me or someone else to do it.
46. Stop touching my boobs or trying to get frisky when you clearly see that I am BUSY…
47. Don’t you ever try and blame my attitude on my period.
PS. And even if I do have an attitude because of my period,I have the right. Cramps and PMS are like the fires at Hibachi inside of me.
