5 Things to Never Say to Someone With Anxiety

5 Things to Never Say to Someone With Anxiety

A Guideline of How to Help Others Cope

Helping a friend, peer, or partner deal with anxiety can be confusing and difficult at times. It is often hard to know what to say. However, regardless of how you choose to comfort the person, there are some key things to not say.

1. "You shouldn't feel that way."

In particular, this phrase is one to avoid. Chances are, the person having the anxiety does not want to worry about whatever it is that's bothering them. They know that they should not feel a certain way, but feel as though they have no control over their anxious thoughts. To them, their feelings are real and there, whether they should be or not. Telling them something they already know, but have no control over often makes them feel worse.

2. "Just think 'good thoughts' or 'focus on something else.'"

This goes along with the lack of control that people with anxiety feel. Personally, I have often tried to focus on things I need to get done and find it almost impossible until the source of my anxiety is resolved. This is a situation that most people with anxiety have in common and it is very frustrating.

3. "I understand how you feel."

Often, this is said to try to show empathy, but the reality is, it can be insulting. At that moment, the only person who can really understand how their anxiety feels, is them. Telling someone you understand the stress, frustration and helplessness that they are going through can be seen as downplaying the severity of their feelings.

4. "You don't have anxiety, you're feeling anxious."

Feeling anxious is temporary and often pertains to specific situations. Anxiety is a constant worry and need for reassurance that can become acute as a result of certain situations. If a person is going out of their way to get help, it is probably more than just the typical anxiety. Again, downplaying the severity of their feelings may make them feel degraded and less likely to seek help.

5. Nothing at all

One of the worst things to do is to avoid the awkwardness you may feel and dismiss the person's feelings with an "Oh." or "I'm sorry". This type of reaction can create feelings of loneliness and the perception that others do not care enough to help. A simple "I am here for you" or "How are you feeling today?' will do if you do not know what to say.

When helping others cope with anxiety or depression, what often helps is simply listening and expressing to the person that they have your support. What is even better is helping them talk through the source of their anxiety/depression and what they can do to treat it. It can be difficult at times, but a good rule of thumb is to remember that what that person is feeling is very real to them, whether it seems valid or logical to you or not.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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5 Perks Of Having A Long-Distance Best Friend

The best kind of long-distance relationship.

Sometimes, people get annoyed when girls refer to multiple people as their "best friend," but they don't understand. We have different types of best friends. There's the going out together best friend, the see each other everyday best friend and the constant, low maintenance best friend.

While I'm lucky enough to have two out of the three at the same school as me, my "low maintenance" best friend goes to college six hours from Baton Rouge.

This type of friend is special because no matter how long you go without talking or seeing each other, you're always insanely close. Even though I miss her daily, having a long-distance best friend has its perks. Here are just a few of them...

1. Getting to see each other is a special event.

Sometimes when you see someone all the time, you take that person and their friendship for granted. When you don't get to see one of your favorite people very often, the times when you're together are truly appreciated.

2. You always have someone to give unbiased advice.

This person knows you best, but they probably don't know the people you're telling them about, so they can give you better advice than anyone else.

3. You always have someone to text and FaceTime.

While there may be hundreds of miles between you, they're also just a phone call away. You know they'll always be there for you even when they can't physically be there.

4. You can plan fun trips to visit each other.

When you can visit each other, you get to meet the people you've heard so much about and experience all the places they love. You get to have your own college experience and, sometimes, theirs, too.

5. You know they will always be a part of your life.

If you can survive going to school in different states, you've both proven that your friendship will last forever. You both care enough to make time for the other in the midst of exams, social events, and homework.

The long-distance best friend is a forever friend. While I wish I could see mine more, I wouldn't trade her for anything.

Cover Image Credit: Just For Laughs-Chicago

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Poetry On Odyssey: Some Days

A poem that reminds you that you're not alone.


Some days,

You dread the sound of your alarm. You snooze and snooze and snooze and snooze.

When you finally pull yourself out of bed, pressed time forces you to throw on stained sweats

you find yourself chugging a cup of coffee.

You sit on the couch and contemplate calling out of work

You caught the stomach bug,

Or perhaps the flu,

Maybe you broke your collar bone

Or need a new phone

The endless list of excuses repeats through your head as you sit on the couch, wishing you were still in bed.

It takes every ounce

Every breath

Every fiber of your being to pull yourself off the couch

And into the car

And into the building where you work

Some days,

This is just how it goes

You are not alone.

Some days,

You awake to the beautiful sound of birds

Chirping outside your window

The sun sneaks its way into your room

A smile creeps across your face as you realize you are awake to see a new day

You make a good breakfast

You read a few pages of your favorite book

You get your mind ready for the things it will accomplish today

Before you know it you've worked an entire day

Your job is done

As you pull into your driveway,

you take a few breaths

Feeling grateful for another meaningful day.

Some days,

This is how it goes

You are not alone.

Every day is a gamble,

Every day is a gift

The key to getting more good days

Is believing that everyday is one.

You are not alone, this is just how it goes.

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