Things Nobody Tells You About Emotional Abuse

Things Nobody Tells You About Emotional Abuse

Sticks and stones can break your bones, but words can also hurt you.
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When you first hear the word "abuse," you probably think of physical abuse; the punching, kicking, slapping, throw-you-against-a-wall kind of abuse. But there are other forms that often aren't discussed, and they can be just as damaging as the physical kind.

I wasn't familiar with emotional abuse until a concerned adult provided me with a list of red flags, and even then, I ignored all the signs, convinced that she was the crazy one. It wasn't until months after I escaped an emotionally torturous relationship that I actually used the term "abuse" to describe it. When you're in the midst of a toxic relationship, it's hard to see and understand just how poorly you're being treated. That's because it starts out completely normal; almost too good to be true.

But as the months pass by, things slowly start to go downhill. I always think of abuse as a hot shower: you start out with the water at a comfortable temperature, and then as you get used to it, you slowly turn it up. After a while, you realize that you can't see through all the steam, and your body is red and itchy from the scalding water. Everything starts out like a fairy tale, and you have no idea what's coming. Nobody tells you about that part. There are a lot of things that nobody will tell you.

Nobody tells you that even though emotional abuse isn't physical, it can have physical effects on your body. You might lose a scary amount of weight and your bones might stick out. You might develop deep purple circles under your eyes from either the constant crying or the lack of sleep... or both. Your hands might shake a lot from the adrenaline that comes with the constant anxiety of always having to walk on eggshells around the abuser. You become a sad, mistreated zombie.

Nobody tells you about the huge amount of strength and courage you'll need to gather up before you finally have the guts to leave. They don't tell you about the begging and pleading. They don't tell you about the abuser's threats to commit suicide if you leave them. They don't tell you that it's going to take everything you've got and more to think about yourself and your own well-being for once.

Nobody tells you about the aftermath. Even though he never laid a finger on me, I am now stuck with the emotional scarring that comes along with nearly three years of abuse. I am stuck with the anxiety, the nightmares, and the constant self-doubt. Every day is a struggle to get past that. Abuse isn't something you can just "get over," it will haunt you years after you thought you've finally escaped.

And finally: nobody tells you that surviving the ordeal of an emotionally abusive relationship will make you a better person. You have to learn how to rebuild yourself in the aftermath, and the strength you will gain from that experience makes you nearly unbreakable. You learn to appreciate the good relationships in your life, and you value them more than you ever have before. You learn how you should not be treated, and you make sure that your next relationship is the best one yet. But most importantly, you learn that you are more than someone's words. Nobody, no matter how much they mean to you, can ever tell you your worth; only you can do that.

Cover Image Credit: https://supermommybeirut.files.wordpress.com/2015/07/domestic.png?w=600&h=312&crop=1

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An Open Letter To The Girl Trying To Get Healthy Again

"I see you eating whatever you want and not exercising" - Pants
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Dear girl trying to get back in shape,

I know it's hard. I know the hardest thing you may do all day is walk into the gym. I know how easy it is to want to give up and go eat Chicken McNuggets, but don't do it. I know it feels like you work so hard and get no where. I know how frustrating it is to see that person across the table from you eat a Big Mac every day while you eat your carrots and still be half of your size. I know that awful feeling where you don't want to go to the gym because you know how out of shape you are. Trust me, I know.

SEE ALSO: To The Girl Trying To Lose Weight In College


The important thing is you are doing something about it. I'm sure you get mad at yourself for letting your body get this out of shape, but life happens. You have made a huge accomplishment by not having a soda in over a month, and those small changes are huge. I understand how hard it is, I understand how frustrating it is to not see results and I understand why you want to give up. Being healthy and fit takes so much time. As much as I wish you could wake up the day after a good workout with the 6 pack of your dreams, that just isn't the reality. If being healthy was easy, everyone would do it, and it wouldn't feel so good when you got there.

Remember how last January your resolution was to get back in the gym and get healthy again? Think about how incredible you would look right now if you would have stuck with it. The great thing is that you can start any time, and you can prove yourself wrong.

Tired of starting over? Then don't give up.

You are only as strong as your mind. You will get there one day. Just be patient and keep working.

Nothing worth having comes easy. If you want abs more than anything, and one day you woke up with them, it wouldn't be nearly as satisfying as watching your body get stronger.

Mental toughness is half the battle. If you think you are strong, and believe you are strong, you will be strong. Soon, when you look back on the struggle and these hard days, you will be so thankful you didn't give up.

Don't forget that weight is just a number. What is really important is how you feel, and that you like how you look. But girl, shout out to you for working on loving your body, because that shit is hard.

To the girl trying to get healthy again, I am so proud of you. It won't be easy, it will take time. But keep working out, eating right, and just be patient. You will be amazed with what your body is capable of doing.

Cover Image Credit: Stock Snap

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How To Survive Your First Flu At ISU

Being away from your parents can be tough when you get sick, but here's a short how-to guide of what to do when you catch the flu.

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Going away to college can be tough, especially if you're used to being at home and having someone to take care of you when you get sick. Now I don't know about the rest of you but when I get sick I turn into a needy childish mess of a person who wants her mom to make her soup and bring her juice and medicine. But, being about a two-hour drive away from home I can no longer rely on my mom to take care of me. So, you would assume that my first option is to just lay in bed and sleep all day until I don't feel sick anymore. Unfortunately, I have tried that, and I can assure you that it's not a valid way to get better anytime soon. So, in this article, I am going to explain how you can get healthy quicker and skip fewer classes.

Step one to any sickness is staying hydrated, you should drink a lot of water, tea, and juice. The water helps flush toxins out of your body, the tea helps soothe your sore throat, and the juice provides vitamins and antioxidants. You will need all of these things in order to feel better as soon as possible.

Step two is to stay in bed and sleep, getting rest can help your body heal a lot quicker than you think. It's not a good thing to skip classes but if you can skip a class and use that time to rest and heal you won't have to skip as many classes in the future because of a sickness that lasts for multiple days or even weeks.

Step three is to remember to eat, when you feel achy and sore from being sick and laying in bed you will not want to go get food but it's important to remember to eat when you're sick especially things like hot soup and crackers. Even if you feel absolutely terrible you have to remember to eat, which might mean asking your roommate to bring you a to-go box and offering to repay the favor at a later time.

Step four is to take a nice hot shower, the steam from the hot water can help open up your sinuses which will relieve your runny or stuffy nose as well as relieving your sore throat.

Step five is remembering to email your professors and let them know that you are sick, this will help you to keep up in your classes and prevent your grades from dropping due to absence. Another helpful tip is to text a friend from your class to get a copy of the notes from class.

Hopefully, this short article will help you to handle your first serious sickness away from home, and if you're still feeling sick after trying all of these things make sure you schedule an appointment at the student health center located in the student health services building across the street from the Bone Student center.

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