1. Comparison is the thief of joy.
Stop comparing yourself to others. You are who you are, you are where you are, you do not need to be like anyone else. There is no perfect way to look or live. Embrace who you are, where you are, and what you do. If there is room for improvement, do it for you. Stop competing. Stop comparing.
2. Don't take things personally.
Whether someone cuts you off in traffic or a friend passes a snide comment, know that 97 percent of the time it has nothing to do with you. Some people take their bad days out on others. Some people project their insecurities on others for false comfort. Some people are just miserable. Regardless, it likely has nothing to do with you. Smile and wish them the best.
3. Stop caring what people think.
We all think people think about us a lot more than they really do. People have their own stuff to deal with. They don’t spend their spare time judging you (and if they do, they lead pretty sad lives). Don’t take yourself too seriously. Don’t take life too seriously.
4. Laugh at the chaos.
Shit happens. Learn to laugh at said shit. Whether your car runs out of gas or your partner plays you, learn to laugh it off. There are many things we can’t control in life, and it gets a lot easier when you find the humor in the chaos instead dwelling on how unfair everything is.
5. Forgive.
Good people do bad things when they’re in bad places. We make mistakes, learn, and move on. Sometimes, when you’re deeply affected by someone else’s poor choice, it is hard to find room for compassion and empathy. But you will never find peace if you can't let it go. Don’t give others power over your emotions by holding grudges. You don’t need to welcome people who have hurt you back into your life with arms wide-open, but you do need to accept what you can’t change and let it go.
Furthermore, sometimes the person you need to forgive the most is yourself. We’re all better than the worst thing we have done. We all say and do things we wish we hadn’t. Learn from your mistakes and move on.
6. Apologize.
If you are in the wrong, apologize. If you said or did something hurtful, own up to it. Swallowing your pride will never hurt as much as losing a partner, friend, or family member.
7. Don’t binge-watch Netflix.
Though wildly addictive, binge-watching Netflix is a colossal waste of time. Read, write, learn how to play an instrument, learn a new language, hang out with friends, go for a walk, workout, go outside, do anything-- just don’t waste weeks of your life living in a fictitious world. On your deathbed, you will never be grateful for all of the time you spent watching "Grey’s Anatomy." That being said, there is nothing wrong with a lazy Sunday or watching an episode here and there. But don’t let fake worlds consume your real one.
8. Let toxic people go.
We all have toxic people in our lives: people who always put others down, always start drama, or always find the negative in life. If the thought of seeing someone puts a knot of anxiety in your chest, let them go. It is okay to be selective with friends. You don’t need the stress. Your energy is better spent elsewhere.
9. Many things are better left unsaid.
One of my favorite quotes is, “I would rather sit in silence for days than let my hurtful words echo in someone’s heart forever.” When you are frustrated, count to 10. When you are angry, count to 20. More than likely, the sharp words on the tip of your tongue will fade away. You don’t need to win every argument. You don’t need to open old scars. You don’t need to be right. In the grand scheme of things, sometimes it is best to let it go.
10. You don’t need to explain yourself to anyone.
Whether someone is inquiring about your tattoo or why you got back with your ex, you don’t owe them an explanation. You do what is right for you. You do what makes you happy. You don’t need to justify your every move. You don’t need to explain yourself to anyone.
11. Exercise, eat well and drink water.
Even if you go for a 20-minute walk every day, just move. Eat for nutrition, not to hush stomach growls. Throw vegetables and fruit in the mix. Learn how to fuel your body. Drink water every day. You will never regret the time you spent on your health. As a Whole Foods bag once said, "treat your body like it belongs to someone you love."
12. Wake up early.
Stop spending half of your days in bed. Someone who wakes up at 6AM gets five more hours out of their day than someone who wakes up at 11 a.m. You can do a lot with five hours. Get the most out of the days you have on this planet and get up with the sun.
13. Travel.
When people think of traveling, they often think of exploring different countries and crossing destinations off of bucket lists. But you don’t need to cross the ocean to see the world--just leave your living room. Look up local state and national parks, explore small towns and cities near you; see what your state has to offer. Of course, there is a lot to see abroad, but there is also a lot to see at home. You will never remember Netflix binges like you will spontaneous camping trips or exploring. Leave your living room.
14. Busy is overrated.
Somewhere along the line, we glorified busy. We praise people who are constantly busy with work and other commitments, and huff at those who take time out of their day for themselves. Contrary to popular belief, life is not an emergency. You don’t need to be doing something every minute of every day. There will always be something to do. Set aside time to do what you love, reflect, and breathe.
15. Say ‘yes’ more than you say ‘no.’
Your greatest memories will stem from the moments you just said ‘yes.’ Go on spontaneous hiking trips, go hang out with your friends, go meet new people, go dance the night away when you feel like eating pizza and watching Netflix. It is important to set aside time for yourself, but you will rarely regret spontaneous adventures.
16. Stay informed.
It is important to know what is happening in the world around you. You don’t need to know every detail of every news story, just skim the headlines. Ignorance is not bliss and apathy does far more harm than good. Be aware of the world around you.
17. Practice discipline.
Discipline is choosing between what you want now and what you want most. If I could take back every impulsive online shopping spree I would. I could probably travel a continent or two on the money I spent on things I didn’t need (and ultimately, never used). Is your money better spent on a few shopping sprees or a plane ticket? Would you rather spend two hours every day scrolling through your phone or training for a half marathon? Sort out your priorities and practice discipline.
18. Don’t overthink it.
Overthinking is a great way to turn an everyday situation into a nightmare. You create ridiculous scenarios in your head and tear yourself up over something that is highly unlikely. Worrying and overthinking will only stop you from enjoying the present. Let go of what you can’t control and don’t know.
19. Be kind. Be patient.
There will always be times that test your temper and patience. Use these moments as opportunities to better yourself. Making a scene is easy; it is harnessing your inner 2-year-old, putting things in perspective, and empathizing that takes practice and strength. No one hates a crying baby on a plane quite like the parents of the crying baby. Count to 10, take a deep breath, and if you must do something, offer to help.
20. Be present.
I could write a novel on my past addiction to texting and social media. Instead, I challenge you to leave your phone in a dresser drawer for a week, only checking it briefly every few hours, and see how your life changes. I promise, if you do, you will shed stress and anxiety you never realized you had. You will see your value outside of notifications, retweets, likes, texts, and Snapchats. You will gain confidence and independence you never realized you lost. And most importantly, you will be present.
21. Love yourself.
Life is too short to spend one more day at war with yourself. Stop beating yourself up over things you said or did. Stop wishing you looked different. Stop wishing you were more like someone else. Your body is your home, it is who you are, it always has been and always will be. Your one guarantee in life is that you will always have yourself. If you love yourself, there is nothing you can't do.
