There's A Difference Between A Toxic Ex And A Door #3
Start writing a post
Relationships

There's A Difference Between A Toxic Ex And A Door #3

A Door #3 is a right person wrong time kind of relationship, not a wrong person right time one.

5820
https://scontent-atl3-1.cdninstagram.com/v/t51.2885-15/e35/118671951_798429397566459_7944037548182690185_n.jpg?_nc_ht=scontent-atl3-1.cdninstagram.com&_nc_cat=103&_nc_ohc=UVIMYH23_9gAX_uR7Fc&tp=18&oh=8e3108c6a427bab6ae66865581370cab&oe=5FD23563
Instagram @alexandracooper

I think every college student or girl in her twenties listens to the infamous podcast Call Her Daddy. If you have follow Call Der Daddy then you have heard Alex Cooper talk about her 'Door #3'. But if not, let me run it down for you.

A 'Door #3' is classified as a guy that Alex knows if she dates, it will be a very serious and long term relationship. Keep in mind, this would be a healthy relationship. But, Alex Cooper never makes things that simple. She knows she is still in her twenties and isn't quite ready to settle down yet. She makes sure to keep in enough contact with her Door #3 to where they both don't forget about each other, but not too much where they would get jealous of each other seeing other people. Although it seems complicated, it is actually a lot easier than you would think.

This kind of relationship is what I would describe as a 'right person wrong time' kind of thing. But, with a little twist. It's the person you start seeing then some unexpected events intervene with the relationship so you both mutually agree to see other people or put things simply on pause. In my opinion, I don't think a Door #3 can be someone you have already seriously dated long term. This kind of relationship is someone you meet unexpectedly and completely out of the blue. Someone you have an immediate connection with, but you guys meet a very inconvenient time to start a serious relationship. For example, you both meet before moving away to college or for work, or you're too busy with your career to start a serious relationship. Or even in Alex Cooper's situation, where she knows there's a strong connection there, but she's just not ready to settle down yet.

Trying to force a relationship at the wrong time is the worst thing you can do to yourself. Settling down with a serious partner before your ready can cause huge strains on a relationship that could thrive if it was started a little later in life. Falling in love isn't supposed to be hard or complicated. It also shouldn't be draining or exhausting. I think that's where a Door #3 and a toxic ex can get confused.

Like I said before, I don't think a Door #3 can be someone you dated long term. I see a lot of friends or people online get out of an obviously unhealthy long-term relationship and then say 'it was the wrong timing' or refer to them as their Door #3. But in reality, it was just the wrong person. Here's what I mean by that;

Like I said before, a Door #3 is someone you have a strong connection with, but there is something preventing you guys from dating. If you date someone long term, then break up with them and say it's because 'they're your Door #3', or because 'It was the wrong timing', that's just a relationship not working out, not a Door #3. If your relationship didn't work when you guys had timing on your side, odds are it won't work out later. Don't use the term Door #3 just as an excuse to let a toxic ex back in the picture.

A Door #3 isn't a forced relationship, it just happens. It is an organic chemistry that usually falls into place like a domino effect. But, sometimes not as fast as you would hope.

I am a big believer in the idea that everything happens for a reason. I am not one to force relationships or things into my life because if they're meant to be in my life, eventually they will.

If you've made it this far, odds are you think you have your own Door #3. Having a Door #3 is such a unique feeling that only people who have their own really understand. It is exciting but so frustrating at the same time. I would explain the feeling as having that best friend that you could easily make the 'let's get married when we're 30 if we don't meet anyone' pact that you see in movies.

A Door #3 should be a happy and fun relationship. They should one of your best friends that maybe every once in a while get's drunk and confesses their feelings for you. But, you both know to just continue to your day to day life because dating right now would just be too complicated.

So here's to your Door #3. Just take a deep breath and let life take the lead.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

5 Cakes You Need to Try This Winter

Spending the winter trying different cakes can be a great way to combat seasonal depression. Lift the spirits of your entire family by trying these five cakes.

13580
Try This Winter

The winter can be a dull time spent indoors with very little change. But, it doesn't have to be that way. There are plenty of ways to spice up your daily routine, and dessert is one of them.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

5 Reasons to Consider a Career as a Defense Lawyer

Lawyers are supposed to be unbiased. Lawyers are trained to look at both sides of an issue and give equal weight to each side. It is meant to be their mantra, "My client is innocent until proven guilty."

90384
Career as a Defense Lawyer

Lawyers are supposed to be unbiased. Lawyers are trained to look at both sides of an issue and give equal weight to each side. It is meant to be their mantra, "My client is innocent until proven guilty." But if you're thinking about becoming a defense attorney, it's not this pretty simple. Defense lawyers argue that their clients are innocent because they don't want their actions to seem suspect in any way. They essentially say for the sake of the argument itself. If you're trying to decide whether or not becoming a defense attorney is something you would like to do, here are five reasons why it's worth considering:

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

What Everyone Should Know About Online Degrees

Nowadays, many working adults, high school graduates, and retired lifelong learners are choosing to advance their careers, lives, and personal knowledge by completing school at home.

193446
Online Degrees

The rising popularity of online college and graduate school degrees has completely changed the face of education and student life. It's no longer necessary to pack up all your belongings and head off to a distant locale in order to earn a diploma. Nowadays, many working adults, high school graduates, and retired lifelong learners are choosing to advance their careers, lives, and personal knowledge by completing school at home.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

What I am thankful for

I am saying one thing that I am thankful each day for until Thanksgiving. You try it to it will bring you joy.

145932
It's Thanksgiving time
Element5 Digital

November 1st, I am thankful for God and Jesus. I put my faith in them, they protect and help me through the happy and the sad in life. I could not imagine a world without them.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Chatting with the Iron Boy Himself Arthur Bozikas

Arthur Bozikas has penned a memoir that is heart-breaking and gutsy, as well as being full of hope and gratitude. This book is guaranteed to lift up readers and have them believing in the resilience and transcendence of the human spirit, making it a must read for years to come.

94327
Arthur Bozikas

Arthur Bozikas has penned a memoir that is heart-breaking and gutsy, as well as being full of hope and gratitude. This book is guaranteed to lift up readers and have them believing in the resilience and transcendence of the human spirit, making it a must read for years to come.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments