There is More to Life Than Dating
Relationships

There is More to Life Than Dating

"The time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself." - Douglas Coupland

97
Huffington Post

Most young girls grow up waiting for the dream wedding, the perfect spouse, and the happy family they will one day have whenever they are older. As a child, I had many of the same aspirations, not necessarily because it was what I dreamed of, but more so because it is what I perceived was expected of me. My mother was a stay-at-home mom and all of the adult women in my life were married with a family. Most of my friends were already planning their weddings or thinking of what they would name their children. I caught notice of these things and began altering my thoughts to be in the same fashion.

As I grew older, I found myself being what could be termed "boy crazy." I figured that once I found my perfect match or "the one," I would find happiness and purpose. My dreams became less about what I could achieve and more about how to get boys to like me. Instead of trying to gain self-confidence to become successful and get the most out of my life, I began trying to gain self-confidence so that I would become more desirable in the dating world. My sole purpose was not to grow as a person but to gain the approval of men.

However, over time, I found less and less satisfaction in dating and trying to impress boys. I noticed that the more I placed my self-worth in how much a boy liked me, the more inadequate I felt. I then decided to take a step back and look at who I was. I realized that I was, in a way, like Ann Perkins from Parks and Recreation. She would always take on any of the hobbies or interests of the person she was dating at the time and never quite had any of her own. I've noticed many of the people I know do this exact same thing. If not immediately, over time, they will change their interests or even their own ideas to fit whomever they are involved with.

After I realized that I have to live my life more for me, I began to see myself grow as a person. I chose to take up hobbies that I thought were beneficial to my self-growth and I began taking care of myself in a way that I never had before. I found that it is impossible to grow as an individual while constantly looking for validation in another person. When you aren't looking inwardly, you get farther from living your truth.

Wanting to get married is by no means a fully terrible thing. It can be, though, if you are sacrificing who you are for the person you are with. It pains me to see so many of my friends fall under the false assumption that they have to be or act a certain way to get a boy's attention or approval. I believe that the more authentically you live, the more fortune you will attract.

There is so much more to life than just dating boys. It might be a fun aspect of life, but it is in no way the most important part of it. Yourself, family, friends, and what you love to do are all that matters in life. If you stay true to who you really are, you will have more of a life that you can be proud of.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Swoon

I Started Dating A Guy Before Quarantine, But Now We Rarely Speak Unless I Double-Text

"He's really nice and cute and I like being around him when we see each other, but he's awful at communication."

Each week Swoonie B will give her advice on anonymous topics submitted by readers. Want to Ask Swoonie B something related to dating and relationships? Fill out this form here — it's anonymous.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

This Is Exactly What You Should Eat Today In Quarantine, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

You've probably been eating it the past three months,

If we added up all the minutes of my life I've stood in front of the fridge or pantry mindlessly glazing over options, it would probably amount to several years longer than I'd care to admit.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

If You Don't Think People Are Legitimately Scared To Stay In Lockdown, Think Again

People are terrified of what could happen if states stay in lockdown too long.

Coronavirus (COVID-19) continues to be the topic of discussion for most U.S. residents. From federal reopening guidelines to individual state timelines, the country is all over the place. This sparks conversations within the news, social media, and in family homes about the consequences of reopening the country incorrectly.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

If You Don't Think People Are Legitimately Scared To Reopen States, You're Not Looking Hard Enough

People are terrified of what could happen if states begin reopening too early.

Coronavirus (COVID-19) continues to be the topic of discussion for most U.S. residents. From federal reopening guidelines to individual state timelines, the country is all over the place. This sparks conversations within the news, social media, and in family homes about the consequences of reopening the country incorrectly.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Feel A Lil' Better: Because You Need To Stretch It Out

Your weekly wellness boost from Odyssey.

No matter how good (or bad) you'd describe your health, one thing is for sure: a little boost is ALWAYS a good idea. Whether that's reading a new, motivating book, or listening to a song that speaks to your soul, there are plenty of resources to help your health thrive on any given day.

Flexibility is an important part of life. Yes, you need to be able to go with the flow and adjust when needed, but literal, physical flexibility is equally handy. Not only does increased flexibility keep you safe from injury each time you work out, but a good stretch session is incredibly soothing after a long day. Your body goes through a lot! It needs to cool down and get loose after all the activities you put it through.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

5 Amazing Things That Happened To Me When I Took Just A Week Off From Social Media

I've taken one-week off social media, and here's what I learned.


You’ll think clearer.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments