There are plenty of articles, self help books and YouTube videos that claim to have the "key to happiness." As a young girl who felt like the entire world was against her on most days, I would frequently find myself searching for this secret key to unlock my happiness. I would follow the advice of strangers religiously, trying so desperately to try and turn around my no where near awful life around, as if my life depended on it. I was convinced that changing my wardrobe or shaving half of my head would change my life completely, and I'd be happier. But, as I've matured and learned more about myself and others, I slowly began to realize the truth about happiness.
As of now, happiness is less complex than you may think. As young people, we have the luxury of simplicity, for the most part. So, I have narrowed the "key" you may be searching for down to five simple steps.
1. Let go.
A part of me had always been fixated on this image that I had for myself. I was supposed to look a certain way, be popular, have a boyfriend, make a ton of money and have a perfect life. As soon as I was able to let go of my desires to be perfect and love who I am and what I have, that self pressure that was relieved made me feel so much happier. Let go of the perfect you, because odds are, you will never be satisfied. Accept yourself, flaws and all.
2. Live how you want to live.
Along with letting go of your "perfect self," you also should live the life how you want to. Especially if high school is coming to an end or college is beginning, you may have other influences trying to change the path you want to take in life. Don't put others before yourself all the time, or else you'll never be happy. It's okay to worry about your desires first before considering other people's feelings. No one else can tell you how to live your life besides you. You only get one shot! So whatever that means to you - chasing a "risky" career path, asking your crush out, dying your hair blue - do it.
3. Weed out the negativity in your life.
This is a step that I quickly learned was very crucial to my happiness. As a young person, we easily become complacent with our lives and accept that our friends are our friends and that's that. However, you may need to start looking beneath the surface of those who surround you. I personally found that a lot of my friendships were not as healthy as I thought. Things to look out for in your relationships include peer pressure, jealousy, lying, backstabbing, etc. It's okay to let go of people who you may have known for a while or are very close to, because in the end if they are damaging your emotional being, they are stopping you from being happy. It's not being selfish or mean, it's being worried for yourself, which is completely okay. Negative energy is draining! Weeding out those who are considered toxic will allow you to put your energy into something much more positive, thus making you happier.
4. Don't depend on others for your happiness.
Not only is it important to surround yourself with positive people, but you also have to be able to be emotionally independent. The people who around around you may not be there next week, next month, or next year - people change. Being able to be happy with just you is fundamental before you put energy into other relationships. It's all about balance.
5. Allow it to happen.
I think for most of my life I always thought that I wasn't worthy of happiness and almost subconsciously pushed away anything that made me happy. I was so fearful to just let myself live. At the end of the day, we already have happiness already within us. It's whether or not you are going to allow yourself to let it shine through that truly makes the difference.
At the end of the day, no matter what you are going through, these five steps are the roots of happiness. Love yourself, let yourself live to the fullest in a positive way, be independent, and allow yourself to be happy, and it will all fall into place.
