It's an ugly word with an ugly definition to match. It's a word that we are often too afraid to say out loud or give any attention to. When it happens, we mourn the loss of another loved one, peer, or community member, but after that, we don't talk about whats actually going on.
When someone commits suicide, specifically speaking about kids from middle school to college aged, the reasons behind it are sometimes hard to understand. Sometimes, the signs are right there in front of us even if we cannot see them. It's not an easy situation for anybody involved. What we can assume, is that the person was dealing with something that they thought would never get better. They needed an out, a way to cope, and this was the only way they saw that would make sense. It's a sad concept to try and grasp that someone could feel so awful they feel the only option they have is to take their life.
Suicide is something that is learned. It's learned from movies, TV shows, other peers and so many other sources. It's not something that a person, especially teenagers, come up with on their own. The problem is, and a lot of the reasons behind why we see it so often, is because it is being talked about in all the wrong ways, or not at all. We know what it is, we know the horrible methods, but rarely do we talk about prevention. Rarely do we talk about how it is NOT a way out, or a way to escape your problems. Rarely do we talk about what happens when you're gone.
I've experienced the affects of suicide first hand. Here is what people won't tell you. When you're gone, everything is different whether you think it won't be or not. Most people forget to consider how different the world will actually be without your presence. Your presence and your being on this earth affects everything.
Picture if you were gone. What affect would this have on the people around you, and even the future? Your teachers and classmates would feel the emptiness of your desk that you used to sit in everyday. Your best friend will feel lost without you, how can they go on without you by their side? Your Mom and Dad would walk past your bedroom everyday, just the way you last left it, missing you more than they can put into words. Your siblings would would forever feel a part of their childhood is missing, wishing that they could tell you how much you meant to them, and maybe that you're not that annoying after all. Your future husband/wife will never have the chance to say "I do" to you; you were their one true soulmate. Your future children will never be born, the earth will be at a loss without them as well, who knows, maybe one of them would've cured cancer, or been the next president, or discovered something incredible. Every time your favorite song plays, and the world seems to stop spinning. Every time your mom cooks your favorite meal, then realizes you're not there to enjoy it. Every family gathering isn't what it used to be, the room feels awkward and nobody knows what to say, everybody feels your absence.
We don't talk about suicide because it's an ugly, sad and horrible thing for any person to have to deal with. But as awful as it is, we need to talk about it. We need to tell our friends, our classmates, our loved ones, that it is never an option. It doesn't eliminate pain, it gives it to someone else. A hole is left in the hearts of those who love you so very much. Schools need to take on the role of making their students aware of how awful this tragedy really is, and make them understand that there is always help available; people who will always care. The time you are struggling is small in comparison to the big and wonderful life that you are destined to live.
You matter. Everywhere you go, you affect someone, or something around you. Nothing would be the same if you were not here. Nobody would be the same if you were not here. In dark times, we must remind our selves and each other that you were put on this earth to fulfill a purpose. You are here for a reason. You must stay long enough to fulfill that purpose and find your reason. And when all seems hopeless, and you feel nothing else matters, remember you are loved. Loved by one person, or a thousand people. Without you, their life will forever have a broken love. You are loved, you are important, you are needed, you matter.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
