I feel like I'm not giving any guys around my age a chance, really cute and sweet guys as a matter of fact. Guys I can be out in public with and 'go to sports games and cuddle in blankets in the autumn air while cheering for their friends and yelling at the opponent team' sort of relationship with, but it's not that easy when your heart have already settled for a person who seems to be on a whole different path than yours, and you can't seem to move on. It's not going to work out now, but you're stuck and it feels like you can't physically breathe without this person. You feel insane and sane without them. It's like he's the only person you want to talk to and he's in your dreams and thoughts from morning to night. He's your person, but he isn't. You're doing fine with life, things are going well, but the person lingers on you no matter how many months have passed. The happiness and accomplishments you felt that day, you find yourself getting excited by the thought of running to the person and tell them all about it, or when a day disappoints and you want to be by that person. The person feels like home, but you find yourself holding that single device on your hand looking at the person's "Active now" right in front of you, and you just can't. You're afraid. You have good people in your life and you have yourself to keep going, and that should be how it is. It has been, but you just want that person to be apart of your life, and you want to do the same. It's hard to be with another guy when everyone around you encourages you to, but even then, it's temporary, and it can't compare with the impact one person has left on you. You can only shamelessly hope this person reads the message and know it's him.

I miss you.