From time to time, everyone finds himself or herself in a situation where they find toxicity in some part of their life. Whether it’s a person, a habit or a situation, you sooner or later find that it’s draining, it’s a burden and it's holding you back. You’re often stuck at first, you don’t know what to do and you don’t know if you want to do anything right away. If you decide that you want to do something about it, that comes with even more draining and stressful decisions as far as what your next step should be. You’ve already reached the first step by acknowledging the negative effect this thing has on your life. Some part of you knows deep down that you deserve better than to be forced to carry this burden or else you wouldn’t want to do anything to change your situation, so why is it difficult to let go?
The number one problem I’ve found to be the first to get in the way is the fact that there's comfort in familiarity - letting go of something that has become such a big part of your life is tough. If it’s something that you know well and you find that it takes up a big portion of your time, then it can be hard just leaving it behind all of a sudden. At this point, you have no doubt that you need to let it go because of the effect it has on you, but it’s been a part of you for so long that you know it well and it’s predictable. Your first fear is what will happen when it’s gone? And it’s an uneasy feeling not knowing what will come after.
Another big worry along with what happens after it’s gone is the fear that there will always be a feeling that something is missing. But why is it such a bad thing to feel like something’s missing for a little bit? Acknowledging whatever emotions come with letting go of your burden is one of the hardest things to do, but it’s one of the most important. It can be instinctual and even feel easier to ignore any of your emotions that come with leaving something behind, but in the long run, it makes letting go that much harder. Acknowledging your emotions will hurt at first, but once you acknowledge them then the only thing to do next is to let them go.
The last problem with letting go is the fear that leaving this behind will negatively effect the people around you. It may seem crucial at the time, but this is the furthest thing from the truth. Most likely the people you’re worried about hurting are people close to you that you love, and you love them so much that you convince yourself that carrying this burden is better than letting go and letting these people get hurt. If you’re caught in the trap of believing this then it can be hard to get out of, but you have to realize that this burden won't go away and it will just become a downward spiral from where you are now. The thought of seeing the people you love getting hurt is hard to think about, but you have to understand that it’s something you need to do for you. It may be painful, but eventually you need to realize that although holding onto your burden at first prevents the people around you from getting hurt, they’ll be hurt in the end by the effect it has on you.
There’s no concrete plan you need to follow to learn to let go, and baby steps are the only way you’ll end up where you need to be. Just remember that the pain is worth it, because in the end, you’ll end up finally free of whatever burden you’re holding on to and it’ll be so much easier to be happy and to enjoy every moment of your life surrounded by people who love you and encourage you to be the best person you can be.
