This is the first part of a guide to living and presenting as a trans man for those who identify as such or are questioning. This is in no way the end all be all of presenting, and everyone is their own person. This is a guide based on my own personal experiences.
Choosing and wearing a binder.
Binding: The most dangerous practice of the transgender community.
The question that I am usually asked when questioning and newly awakened trans guys approach me is where do you get your binder? Personally, I use UnderWorks.com. Don't let the descriptions fool you. It's a site that is frequented by cosplayers and trans men alike for binders that are decently priced and safe. I've owned both the tri-top full-length nude binder and the half-length tri-top. I would recommend wearing the half-length in warmer weather to avoid overheating.
On the subject of overheating and safety, remember the number one rule. Try not to wear your binder for more than eight to nine hours. The results of wearing it for longer periods of time can be devastating. You may not care about your breast tissue, but it could ruin the outcome of future top surgery and cause other issues. Personally, I'm dealing with my tissue tearing, burst veins and stretch marks. Trust me guys, it's not fun.
The material that UnderWorks makes their binders with unfortunately traps in heat and moisture. It's important to keep hydrated during the summer and to wear loose shirts or tank tops if you feel comfortable wearing them. Be aware that you're going to sweat far more easily than you're used to.
For the love of all that is holy, don't buy the "trans lez" binders listed on eBay under Asian sellers or similar death traps. I have heard nothing but bad stories.
If you choose alternative binding methods instead buying an actual binder, here's some pro-tips from someone who probably suffered rib damage (I didn't see a doctor for it). Do not use the panty hose method because the material will continue to constrict until it causes issues. Duct tape is safe for the most part, but do not wrap it all the way around. Just use it to pull them to the sides and secure it around the back. Treat your skin with care afterwards by using medical ointment where your skin was irritated and lotion it. Ace bandages are never, ever safe, no matter what anyone tells you. As always, try not to bind for more than eight hours no matter what method you use.
For those of you who are comfortable with your breasts, I am so, so proud of you. Stand up to the world that may not understand and be safe.
The haircut battle.
When an effeminate presenting cisgendered man says that he'll make sure your haircut isn't too "feminine," you know you're in trouble. Most hair stylists aren't understanding if you try to explain. My version of explaining was to wear a trans pride shirt which didn't go over well. The best thing you can do is to keep pressing until you get what you want. Go back to the same place and continue to ask for it shorter, even if they protest against what you want. Worst comes to worst, hair grows back.
If short hair is how you want to present, get used to using a lot less shampoo and conditioner. Pour shampoo onto your palm till it is the size of a quarter — that's all you're going to need from now on.
Those of you who want to keep those long, beautiful locks: flaunt it!
Clothing issues.
If you want to wear clothes from the men's section, you may have some issues with sizing and how things fit. If you don't have a genius grandmother who can resize stuff, you may have to break down and buy what you need from the little boy's section if you're smaller built. There's no shame in buying smaller sizes to fit or larger sizes for curvier guys. Take full advantage of Goodwill and thrift stores if you're revamping your entire wardrobe quickly. Go through what you own and save what you like. Don't be afraid of pink and floral print, you can make it work! After all, we are the living testimony that everything society thought about masculinity is wrong.
Underwear and pants were the biggest challenge for me personally. Vagina owners have differently shaped pelvises than penis owners, and therefore boxers don't fit all that great. Shoot for longer boxers because shorter ones will ride up and dip in the middle, especially if you're using a packer. Check out the crotch area of the underwear you want if you can and factor in your period and make sure that whatever you use, whether it be a tampon or a pad, will fit and be comfortable.
Pants are a pain as well as the sizes. Use a tape measure before you go shopping and measure around your hips where your waistband usually sits, and from your crotch to your heel — wear your packer if you use one when you measure, or it won't fit in the pants you buy. Men's wear pants will measure by waist size, then inseam. For example, 34/32. Sometimes, the slash will be replaced by an "x." You probably won't find the exact measurements for yourself, but you can get in the ballpark.
Shirts personally aren't an issue for me because I bind, but if you choose not to, try to avoid the stereotypical hoodie and baggy pants that many trans guys go for. However, if that's what makes you most comfortable and you don't care about fashion, go for it! Larger shirts, however, are your best friend if you're trying to "pass." If you're going without a binder for the day, wear a thin tank top underneath if you're not too busty. It'll disguise them better under the shirt.
That does it for this part of the Trans Guy's Guide to the Universe! Stay tuned for part two.
