As an athlete, and even sometimes as just a human, you often think ‘I’ll never get injured.’ I always gave in to this bias and saw it as a luxury. I was never going to get injured. I always thought that I would never get injured because everyone else worked harder than me. They were doing more miles than I was and putting in more effort even though I was doing the same as them. I knew that my body was strong and reliable and I never expected anything to change.
My uninjured streak ended in what feels like a century ago. However, it really has only been a few weeks. My body wimped out on me and after a twelve-mile-long run and it felt like it was broken. I was limping and unable to walk normally let alone run. Every time I picked my foot up to run I started out limping and couldn’t break the cycle. The day before our home opener I went for a run with my teammates up to our course to do pre-meet drills. Once we had gotten up to the course I felt like I couldn’t move. I couldn’t even do simple stretches and realized that if I were to race the course I would probably fall on my face and not be able to make it back up. I knew that I couldn’t race. I had to stay out and choose what was right for my body.
Gosh, I was a baby. My legs were fine and I totally could have raced if I wanted to. Thoughts like these raced through my brain constantly even though I still couldn’t walk normally and I was in pain every time I tried to run. Obviously, something was wrong with me but I didn’t want to accept it. I missed running and I missed my team. I would go for runs and say to myself, I feel better today. These thoughts weren’t true; I was just trying to make everything better in my head. Two weeks in the pool made the time go by like a turtle running in an endless race. I wanted to run so badly but I couldn’t.
After realizing my leg was swelling and I couldn’t even bend it, I was lucky enough to receive an MRI. Even though I knew it might mean that I couldn’t race this season, I just wanted to know why I was unable to move my leg. The results came back and I immediately knew I had a stress fracture. I was so angry and frustrated. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to run for a while. Something that was half of my life would be gone for a few weeks. My coach told me that sometimes that is just how life goes but I didn’t want it that way. I wanted it to be normal and a sunshiny day forever.
As my team traveled to Montana for the weekend I stayed home barely getting out of bed because I would either have to crutch places or crawl and neither are very fun. On the morning of the race I sent out a message to my teammates giving them encouragement. All of my teammates replied with something sweet like “we are racing with you in our hearts.” I realized how much I missed my life of running and my team. It made me realize that even if I couldn’t race let alone run, my team still thought about me and wanted me to be there.
I miss running so much. I know that there are other people out there who have had much serious injuries but this one is my own. I keep reminding myself that I cannot base my own struggles on someone else’s. This is really hard for me at this point in my life and I cannot compare it to other people’s difficulties. There are struggles in everyone’s lives and sometimes you have to remember that everyone has their own struggles. These struggles don’t have to define who you are. If you look around you can find people to confide in, people who care about you. There are people who will go aqua jogging with you no matter what and people who surprise you with lunch and a sweet note. While you may struggle with something, you don’t have to do it alone. Life will get you down but there will always be someone to pull you back up.
