The Struggles Of Being A Fat Person At The Gym

The Struggles Of Being A Fat Person At The Gym

Going to the gym is hard but going to the gym fat can be terrifying.

Going to the gym is never an easy task. Sometimes you lack the motivation, the time, the want, or even the desire to better yourself. However, for others going to the gym evokes emotions such as fear, embarrassment, dread, and sadness. As a person who is far from fit and arguably fat, I used to experience these emotions of dread and embarrassment when I just walked through the doors of the gym, let alone when I began working out. After a few months, I figured out it was OK to go to the gym as a fat person or to talk about protein or supplements as a fat person. Once I figured that out, it made going to the gym a lot more rewarding and less stressful.

First of all, when walking into the gym as a fat person you believe that everyone’s eyes are on you. You can almost feel the judgment as pudgy parts of you begin to jiggle. You feel out of place in your plain workout shorts and oversized T-shirt. You think that everyone is asking themselves questions like: “Is she lost?,” “She’s so fat, why is she even here” or “She is probably going through a New Year’s Resolution or phase.” However, no one is actually thinking these horrible thoughts; no one cares when they are just focused on themselves and improving their appearance. And if someone is judging you, it just means they are judging themselves even harder.

Second, some individuals will think as a fat person you have no idea what you are doing. At first, it was embarrassing, even mortifying, but then I figured out that it helped. Taking advice from individuals who have been going to the gym daily, if not bi-daily, really helps to work out different muscle groups, to avoid injuring yourself, or to learn the equipment you are using. When I returned to a new gym in my hometown over spring break, I was faced with the same types of individuals wondering if my pudgy self needed help. However, when I actually laid down and benched the weight, just watching the shock in their eyes made up for the past few months of dread and self-judgment that I experienced every day while going to the gym.

Third, even though I am fat I still have the right and the knowledge to talk about different protein powders, pre-workout and fitness supplements. Even though I have a pudgy exterior, this doesn’t mean I don’t know which protein powders contain high protein and low sugar and fat. At this point, I know my local GNC like the back of my hand. Whether it’s knowing that amino acids help with recovery, or that pre-workout is needed for my leg day, or even that I know Wheybolic Protein is way better than Muscle Milk, I know what I am talking about. Don’t worry, I might still be very pudgy and blubbery, but I can still have a very intelligent conversation with you about using protein supplements before or after exercise, or determining if you have the right workout regime to use pre-workout. However, having the knowledge about protein powders and pre-workout never justifies talking about them constantly. No one has the right to do that because it is downright annoying.

In the end, I figured that it was OK to go to the gym as a fat person. Once I stopped judging myself, I finally figured out that no one cares that I am fat and working out. After I told myself that going to the gym was necessary for my daily life, it made it easier to walk through the doors and past all of the individuals who are in shape. In some time, I could be one of those "in shape" people but right now I just need to focus on not cheating with that donut or actually pushing myself on leg day, even though every day is leg day. Going to the gym is hard for anyone, but once we stop judging ourselves, the gym becomes less of a monster and more of a friend.

Cover Image Credit: HerCampus

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30 Things I'd Rather Be Than 'Pretty'

Because "pretty" is so overrated.

Nowadays, we put so much emphasis on our looks. We focus so much on the outside that we forget to really focus on what matters. I was inspired by a list that I found online of "Things I Would Rather Be Called Instead Of Pretty," so I made my own version. Here is a list of things that I would rather be than "pretty."

1. Captivating

I want one glance at me to completely steal your breath away.

2. Magnetic

I want people to feel drawn to me. I want something to be different about me that people recognize at first glance.

3. Raw

I want to be real. Vulnerable. Completely, genuinely myself.

4. Intoxicating

..and I want you addicted.

5. Humble

I want to recognize my abilities, but not be boastful or proud.

6. Exemplary

I want to stand out.

7. Loyal

I want to pride myself on sticking out the storm.

8. Fascinating

I want you to be hanging on every word I say.

9. Empathetic

I want to be able to feel your pain, so that I can help you heal.

10. Vivacious

I want to be the life of the party.

11. Reckless

I want to be crazy. Thrilling. Unpredictable. I want to keep you guessing, keep your heart pounding, and your blood rushing.

12. Philanthropic

I want to give.

13. Philosophical

I want to ask the tough questions that get you thinking about the purpose of our beating hearts.

14. Loving

When my name is spoken, I want my tenderness to come to mind.

15. Quaintrelle

I want my passion to ooze out of me.

16. Belesprit

I want to be quick. Witty. Always on my toes.

17. Conscientious

I want to always be thinking of others.

18. Passionate

...and I want people to know what my passions are.

19. Alluring

I want to be a woman who draws people in.

20. Kind

Simply put, I want to be pleasant and kind.

21. Selcouth

Even if you've known me your whole life, I want strange, yet marvelous. Rare and wondrous.

22. Pierian

From the way I move to the way I speak, I want to be poetic.

23. Esoteric

Do not mistake this. I do not want to be misunderstood. But rather I'd like to keep my circle small and close. I don't want to be an average, everyday person.

24. Authentic

I don't want anyone to ever question whether I am being genuine or telling the truth.

25. Novaturient

..about my own life. I never want to settle for good enough. Instead I always want to seek to make a positive change.

26. Observant

I want to take all of life in.

27. Peart

I want to be honestly in good spirits at all times.

28. Romantic

Sure, I want to be a little old school in this sense.

29. Elysian

I want to give you the same feeling that you get in paradise.

30. Curious

And I never want to stop searching for answers.
Cover Image Credit: Favim

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My Love-Hate Relationship with Starbucks

This is my oh so wonderful experience at Starbucks during the week of midterms.


When I usually go to Starbucks, I typically get the same type of drinks: carmel macchiato, chai tea latte, chestnut praline chai tea latte (which sadly is only a holiday drink), or a shaken black tea lemonade with light ice. However, sometimes a person just gets bored drinking the same three drinks over and over, so I thought, "Hey! lets get out of our comfort zone here pal and try something new." So I did I walked my tired stressed out self to Starbucks 10 minutes before my next class and ordered a tall cinnamon shortbread latte, I mean the description and other peoples comments about it made it sound super good.

As I was waiting for my drink I noticed that one of the baristas was having some issues with some type of syrup, but I thought that they would refill it and then add what they need, and that one probably wasn't even mine. When they did that, I saw them get a new jug of syrup and I went back onto my phone and to try and plan how I was going to get through this midterms week.

Quick info about midterms: everyone is dead, and everyone is stressed. Us college students literally live off of caffeine during midterms week. If you're lucky like me you are at school from 8 a.m. until 6 p.m., so the caffeine is really needed.

Now soon after I saw the new jug come, my name was called. I grabbed my drink and walked like the walking zombie I was to my next class. I went in for my first drink I was so excited to have this sweet taste of vanilla, cinnamon and coffee...but what I got was the opposite. It literally tasted like a very burnt somewhat coffee and cinnamon edible without the marijuana affects, or for the non-edible people, a very bad tasting cookie that was missing all the sugar. I was not a happy camper one bit, but I was going to drink it anyway because I payed $4 for this coffee. I struggled drinking this during my writing class because it tasted terrible, but then out of no where I got this hit of sweet — I was drinking the sweet vanilla and the sweet cinnamon part of my drink minus the majority of the coffee since I was 3/4 done with the drink. I was seriously crying on the inside because I didn't get to enjoy this drink the way I needed.

Then the realization hit me: 1. They probably didn't add in the missing parts of the syrup once it got refilled since they suddenly got busy. 2. They did not stir that drink one bit because all the syrup was literally at the bottom of the cup. If they did these, then the problem wouldn't have happened.

This is not the first time this has happened to me having all the syrup at the bottom of the cup at a Starbucks. Its not like I am able to swish it around myself because it is full to the top and I don't want hot coffee poured or splashed on my hand. Also, most people are on-the-go while they are drinking their coffee or doing other things. I have only had this issue at Starbucks and never at any other place have I had this issue like Anthem Coffee.

So can Starbucks just agree to always mix their drinks? So that the zombie college kids during midterms have good coffee to keep them alive?

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