It's Saturday morning.
You wake up around 9:30 in the morning to the sound of your roommate hurling up his fireball shots from last night. You go to your back door and let out the 12-beer-stream you've been holding in all night and go start to groggily make some eggs and bacon before they both go bad. Now you've got your breakfast ready and you go sit down and mindlessly turn on ESPN like every other man who really doesn't care to turn on the news and let Donald Trump make an appearance in your hangover. And then disappointment runs through you like Taco Viva after a day rager at The Tower. ESPN College Gameday is not on campus this week, nor will they ever be, because FGCU doesn't have a football team.
Ah yes. Nothing says FGCU like everyone's Dad buying an "FGCU Football. Still Undefeated" t-shirt at Orientation, and yet the terrible joke is our terrible reality. It really is painful when you go on Facebook or Snapchat and see your friends from high school doing keg stands at tailgates or cheering in the endzone of SEC games. And then there's us on a Saturday sitting in kiddy pools in our front yard in San Carlos Park or enjoying our the lack of air conditioning at Wicked Wings.
Also, lets talk about the kids who go to FGCU but are absolute die-hard fans of other schools for absolutely no reason at all. Listen, I get it. If you have family who went to UF or FSU, then by all means root for them! We don't get to root for the home team, because there is no home team, so that's understandable. But don't be that guy that comes to FGCU and then all of the sudden you're an Alabama fan for no apparent reason, you know your only a fan because they're on TFM and Old Row all the time.
You know buddy, I'm sure your mom's cousin really did shine Bear Bryant's shoes back in the day, but that doesn't mean you need to yell "Roll Tide" after you pound a buffalo chicken sandwich at SoVi.
Time to be honest for a second. We all know FGCU is not going to get a football team anytime soon, but there is much more reason for that than we realize. Here's the low down. FGCU has said in the past that it would cost approximately $100,000,000 to start a football program. This would cover scholarships, a stadium, practice facilities, coaches, etc. Another little known fact is that somewhere buried deep in McTarnaghan Hall there is a piece of paper saying that FGCU can not and will not ever have more than 25,000 students enrolled at any given time.
So what does this mean for us? What this means is that unless our tuition goes up by about a million percent, or we get some serious donors, there is absolutely no shot in hell we ever get a football team. Hell, we cant even get a gym that has more than four bench presses, or community housing for Greeks.
So until hell freezes over, lets just all hope and pray that Coach Dooley let's them dunk this year.
