Recently, I’ve noticed that there are two types of millennials that exist: those of us who have absolutely no idea what we’re doing in life, and those of us who go above and beyond to ensure that every part of our life flows perfectly in an organized fashion. Now, for those who tend to struggle with figuring things out, it’s hard enough to decide on what to eat for breakfast on any given day, let alone making career goals. When you’re constantly being bombarded with questions about family planning and education, there’s barely enough time to slow down and give a serious amount of thought to it.
It’s totally OK to not have your life figured out at 18, 19 or even 20 years old. There’s a lot of personal growth and development that has to occur in order for that to happen. There are those of us, the minority, who have dedicated years to figuring out what we want/need in life from exact college courses to career choices, all the way to the style and construction of our future homes. If a list can be made from any aspect of life, then there’s a good chance that it already exists and a decision has already been made. I, for one, have “figured my life out” at least three or four times since the age of 7, and each time, I’ve become more and more attached to the idea of this life that I’ve imagined for myself. While it is exciting to be the one friend who always has their life figured out, it does come with many unforeseen consequences.
For one, any time that something doesn’t go according to the life plan, no matter how minuscule, you end up plagued with an overwhelming sense of anxiety and become fixated on remedying the problem. I’m not a go-with-the-flow type of person; I require absolute structure even for the simplest of things. I’ve experienced this crippling anxiety with situations as simple as not being able to purchase the decorative note-taking markers that I thought would help me get a good grade in chemistry. This sounds extremely silly, but I had already imagined those pens being a part of my academic success, and I knew that I could not fulfill those dreams of success without finding them, so I spent an entire day hunting down pens. Now, most people would say that this doesn’t seem like a huge issue, but when you take that feeling and apply it to a million other daily scenarios, those small situations start to really add up. As someone who lives in a perpetual state of anxiety, I can say that this is simply a symptom of being the person who has to have it all figured out.
Another huge issue that we have a tendency to struggle with is constantly being told by others that we’re going to change our minds a billion times before we settle on something. As someone who went into their senior year of high school, already knowing what they wanted to major and minor in, I’ve experienced this many times. It’s understandable that there are many college students who are still trying to figure out what they want to do with their lives, but for those of us who have a very specific life plan, we have more of a tendency to stick to our goals. With the right amount of self-control, effort and determination, I do believe that it is possible to stick to every aspect of your life plan. Going into my second year of college, I can honestly say that I haven’t really thought about deviating from my college plan much, aside from adding an extra major and extra minor, just to prove to myself and everyone else that I can accomplish anything. That’s another problem with being the friend who is supposed to have their life together: you constantly feel as though you’re proving something to someone. For me, my “thing” has always been my intelligence. I’ve always felt as though being intelligent is part of my destiny and everyone has to know that I am intelligent. Which is why I am a double science major with two minors. Sure, it’s a lot to juggle sometimes, but I’m proving to myself and the world that I am capable of anything that I put my mind to. I know that in this respect I am certainly not on my own.
Overall, being the person who has their whole life in order certainly isn’t an easy job. You deal with a lot of criticism, as well as constantly having people place you on a pedestal. That’s a lot of pressure for a young person to take on. The most important thing to remember is just that you have to learn how to adapt and go with the flow. If you fail a class that was crucial to your major, you start over and take another one. If Ikea is out of that bookshelf that you desperately needed to complete your apartment, you go to Walmart. Life is about balancing, and sometimes, it’s OK not to be perfect.
