The Slow Deterioration Of My Mental Health: Part I

Well, I can officially say it. My mental health is taking a spiraling turn into a hole that goes into the center of the Earth. If you were wondering how I got to this point, so let's fill some background.

One day I was in a bar in my senior year of college, a girl I liked was there. I wanted to talk to her because something on the inside just said go for it. I chugged my one drink, I go up to her to try and just say hi, she looks at me with a smile, I get excited, but unfortunately, that smile is not for me, but for a taller, and definitely better looking dude behind me, bam, ignored.

I get blame her, I totally get it, much better looking dudes at there, but I told myself, one day when I am in a better place in life, some day, that person will want me, and not the dude behind me.

I am struggling to figure out when that better place in life will be. At 23, I am not at a place where I would like to be physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, all the adverbs to be honest. It's an eery feeling to have, but I figured out ways to cope, and that means staying as busy as possible.

Working, more work, writing articles here, work again, and go home to do it all over again the next day. Unfortunately, I am at a place in my mental state where I can't be alone with my own thoughts, which means I can't stay inside in fear of what I could possibly do to myself, so busy is what I stay.

Don't you worry about me, friends. I'll be here fighting. This article will be edited, you probably won't read this, and you'll carry on with your days forgetting I was even here, and that's okay.

I've learned you'll have a lot of challenges in life, and frankly no one gives a shit. So although my mental health is going completely down the toilet, hopefully this will pass and I am in a better place in life, but for now, as they tell every man going through this, I gotta suck it up and be a man because really no one cares.

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