The motives behind cheating have always interested me, mostly because I could never fathom cheating myself. I can hardly handle flirting with two guys at the same time via text. I've always wondered if there is something different about the way cheaters' minds are programmed. Anyway, I started really thinking about this after an Instagram comment caught my eye.
I've developed a habit of looking through the Discover Page on Instagram. It's not exactly a healthy habit because it only shows me girls who are gorgeous with like a million followers and it usually only makes me jealous. However, while Instagram stalking some Brandy Melville model in Orange Beach, I noticed a girl commented on one of her pictures of the model with her boyfriend. The girl said, "I want this. I wish I wasn't so ugly that all my boyfriends cheated on me." This made me really sad, and I started to reflect on her statement.
Why do we, humans in general -- girls and guys -- start to hate ourselves when our significant other cheats? I've never actually been cheated on, and the closest I've been to being cheated on is just having some guy I was talking to at the time hook up with one of my friends, but that's beside the point. I think that if I were cheated on, I would feel similarly to this girl on Instagram. This tends to be the common reaction feel when it happens to them; but why?
Studies show that people can be genetically pre-dispositioned to cheat. In fact, people with more information in their DRD4 gene tend to be less committed to one partner. Everyone has this gene, but its presence is stronger in some. This is also known as the thrill-seeking gene, so if you're dating an adrenaline junkie who cheats on you, there might be a scientific reason they can't stay faithful. It's not because you're not pretty, smart, or funny enough, it's their genetics. Now, obviously, not everyone with this gene is a cheater, but there seems to be a link with the more information in the gene, the more likely someone is to cheat. Cheating is an adrenaline rush, and some people will go to extremes to feel a dopamine release from excitement.
Of course, people cheat for lots of different reasons, but for whatever the reason, it's probably not because you are ugly. For some reason, we allow a cheating partner to define how happy we are. Some people are just cheaters. Yes, people can change, but as the old saying goes, "Once a cheater, always a cheater." So, it may be difficult to trust after someone has cheated on you, but the worst thing you can do is beat yourself up about it.
