Love is messy. We see movies like "The Notebook" and "How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days," and our minds are full of the false notion that love always works out. We are led to believe that Prince Charming or Cinderella will get their act together and find us and love us and we will live happily ever after together. But it typically never works that way. Scratch that, it NEVER works that way. Love is complicated. It hurts. It heals. It breaks hearts. It mends them back together. Really, it just takes us on a bumpy ride that we really never ask to be a part of.

Now, the whole act of love, and really just the whole process of it, has the ability to simply screw us all up. It can screw our minds up, our emotions up and our hearts. And the worst part is that sometimes, we put our all into this messy thing and we come out with nothing. Sometimes, love doesn't win with people. It doesn't prevail. It loses. Either the person failed, the relationship failed or love did. The truth of the matter is, sometimes, we don't get it right. We don't get the happy ending. We end up loving the wrong person.

Now I have had my fair share of heartbreaks. Heck, I always thought I had a winner. But truth be told, most of them..never mind...all of them were everything I never needed in life. I thought I got it right every single time. Only to later find out that I had gotten it wrong...very wrong.

But each time I learned something new - about love, respect, relationships, and most importantly...myself. Which is why I want everyone to know that it's okay to fail at love. If it didn't bring you what you want, it taught you what you could do without. There's a lesson behind every failure. I think it is necessary to get your heart broken once or twice and to love the wrong person. It teaches you things you will never forget.

Loving the wrong person teaches you strength you never knew you had. Whether you ended the relationship or they did, you found the strength to stand alone on your own two feet again. You found the strength to keep going. Maybe you begged for them back. And sure, you may have cried yourself into a tub of ice cream. What matters is that you got back out there and took back control of your life.

Loving the wrong person teaches you everything you don't want in a relationship. Be thankful you have figured this out! There are so many people who go through life never knowing what they truly want from a partner. You have already conquered one of the toughest battles when it comes to love and relationships. Maybe you thought you loved the asshole type. Turns out, you hate it. You will no longer waste your time going after men like that. You did yourself a favor and it will save you from a lot of douchebag losers.

Loving the wrong person teaches you that it is necessary to put yourself out there. Sure, this one didn't work out. But that doesn't mean that the next one will end the same. You have to dust yourself off and get back out there...when you're ready. There's no time limit. Only you know when you're ready. And when you are, you'll have new knowledge about yourself that will more than likely lead you to attract someone different. THIS IS A GOOD THING! Because obviously the way things were going before wasn't working out for you.

Loving the wrong person teaches you that it is okay to hurt. You're human. You're allowed to feel those emotions that you always wished you'd never feel. It will hurt. For days. For months. Heck, maybe even for years. But one day, it will stop hurting. And you'll look back and you might even laugh at yourself for getting so tripped up on that one person. Whatever the case may be, loving the wrong person gives you the excuse to feel any type of emotion you want. You get a pass.

Loving the wrong person teaches you to protect your heart and treat it with great kindness and care. It hasn't done anything wrong to you. There's no need to punish it. The wrong person hurt you. So now, you will be more careful. You won't fall as quick. Or you won't believe what sounds suspicious to you. You'll put yourself and your well being first. No, it isn't selfish. It's necessary. You have to protect yourself from what you know is wrong.

Loving the wrong person teaches you that in order to love another, you must first love yourself. Self love is crucial. And unfortunately, not a lot of people know how to do it. That is why you must fall down sometimes in order to get back up. That is why you must go through something painful - you need to show yourself that you matter and you don't ever want to feel that way again. Loving yourself should be at the top of your priority list. The wrong person may have made you dislike yourself. They may have wanted to drag you down to the bottom with them. Do not let them succeed in doing so. You are so much more than what went wrong. Make sure you let yourself know that and make sure you take the proper time to heal. Because love is not disrespect. The wrong one will have you thinking you are not worthy of love from anyone else. Middle finger in the air to that one.

Loving the wrong person helps you appreciate the one that is actually meant for you. Maybe you met them soon after. Or perhaps you're still on the search for that one. Whatever it is, you're a smarter person and you've learned to never settle for less than what you deserve. And now this new person will be able to receive parts of you that the wrong person never did. Because they are what you wanted and needed all along. They are the answer to your prayers. The wrong person led you to the right one. Be thankful for the hurt and the end of the relationship. You received a gift afterwards.

So you see, love is messy. And it can get extra complicated and hurtful when you love the wrong one. But good news is, you aren't stuck in the mess or the hurt! You can..and you will...get through it. You'll see that love isn't supposed to be wrong - it's supposed to be right. It should make you feel better - not worse. Don't be afraid to leave the wrong one behind. There is good in the goodbye to the wrong one, the wrong love, the wrong relationship. I promise.