6 Signs That You're NOT Ready For A Relationship

6 Signs That You're NOT Ready For A Relationship

There's absolutely no need to rush.

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Have you recently been asked out, but something doesn't feel right, so you reject the person? You then spend hours wondering why you don't want to, falling into a pit of "I'm not attracted to them" and "but they're super nice, should I just give them a chance?"

Does it not feel like your time to start dating? Do you feel like you're unsure of how things would turn out afterwards?

Well if you're not too keen to the dating scene, and don't think you're ready, here are a few tell-tale signs that you shouldn't commit.

You fear you'll lose your independence.

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You enjoy doing things by yourself and realize that you don't have to have another person attached at your side to have fun. You like being the one who sets the rules, and there's nothing wrong with that. Just know that if the person is right, they'll respect you as an individual and not try to crawl up your butt half of the time. You'll have that time to yourself too.

You've rejected several people.

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It's not that people aren't interested, it's that you're not interested. You're still figuring yourself out, and you don't need a distraction on that journey. Sometimes you're just not ready to even sit down on a casual date. That's fine too.

You feel like you're not ready for a commitment.

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That's also something to work through. You might be the person who casually dates, but probably can't handle the label of a relationship right now. Committing to one person is tough if you've never done it before.

Attention could freak you out.

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If you're anything like me, unnecessary attention kind of freaks me out. That's the biggest reason that I don't like my birthday. If you have similar feelings, having many or even one person show you attention is something that needs a gentle stoke to the fire, a slow burn.

The overall idea of it seems kind of scary.

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Giving yourself to someone is a lot to handle. You're putting your faith in that one person, your trust. What if they betray that trust? What if you make the wrong choice when it comes down to the wire? There will always be so many "what if's", and not enough reassurance. But, sometimes you have to have a hell of a lot of hope.

You've based your idea of relationships off of others around you.

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You've seen your friends or members of your family go through some gnarly relationships, adding to the predisposed fear that things won't work out or that you shouldn't trust anyone. While it is good to take notes of what is good and bad in other's relationships for future reference, it's not good to live in constant worry. Not every relationship is the same. Not every person is a wolf in sheep's clothing. Don't let other's failed relationships dictate how you pursue yours.

Just take notes and move forward. You'll find someone to love and trust, one that returns the same. You'll find someone to laugh with, even in the worst moments. You'll find that person to hold you tight when things get way too real.

But, if any of these sound like you, you should take some time to work on yourself before jumping into a relationship. You're constantly growing and maturing, so there's nothing wrong with taking your time on things.

I wish you luck in your personal growth and finding your person.

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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We Spend So Much Time Talking About How Much Men Suck In 2019, That We Forget Girls Are Just As Bad

I always talk about how awful guys can be, but let's take a second to talk about how awful my own sex can be, too.

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In our culture, we tend to place all the blame on guys in most relationships by saying how "all men suck" but what about girls?

Girls can be just as bad.

I'm constantly saying how bad guys can be but yet I never stop to analyze things I've done that weren't okay or things my fellow female friends have done that was awful.

I'm not innocent either, I've done some terrible things to really nice guys in my life.

There was one man in my life that genuinely cared for me and wanted to date me but I didn't feel the same at all and lead him on. I honestly didn't think I was leading him on at first but the minute I realized it I tried to nicely let him down. To this day I feel awful about it because I hurt him the way many other guys in my life have hurt me.

I tend to defend my own gender a lot in conversations and I now understand that I really shouldn't. I've seen so many of my female friends treat great guys terribly and have ignored it for so long because I want to believe that females can't be that awful. I was wrong.

I've had some of my best guy friends get treated like absolute garbage by girls that wanted to just party and partake in the hookup culture rather than be with a great guy. I don't get it.

If you have a great man that you're attracted to and loves you unconditionally why would you want to throw it away to chase after boys that won't remember your name the next day?

I've had to keep secrets for friends before that ate me up inside. I had a friend who cheated on her boyfriend by kissing another man in front of me and kept it quiet.

It is NEVER okay to do that to someone, especially a guy that truly cares about you.

It is NOT OK to be on dating apps while dating someone. If you are dating someone, you're exclusive. There is no need to continue talking to men that obviously don't want to just be your friend. There is no good excuse and if you have to try and justify it to yourself, then it's probably not a good idea.

I honestly made myself believe that females didn't play the games men play with our hearts, but we can be just as bad if not worse than a lot of men.

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