Have you recently been asked out, but something doesn't feel right, so you reject the person? You then spend hours wondering why you don't want to, falling into a pit of "I'm not attracted to them" and "but they're super nice, should I just give them a chance?"
Does it not feel like your time to start dating? Do you feel like you're unsure of how things would turn out afterwards?
Well if you're not too keen to the dating scene, and don't think you're ready, here are a few tell-tale signs that you shouldn't commit.
You fear you'll lose your independence.
You enjoy doing things by yourself and realize that you don't have to have another person attached at your side to have fun. You like being the one who sets the rules, and there's nothing wrong with that. Just know that if the person is right, they'll respect you as an individual and not try to crawl up your butt half of the time. You'll have that time to yourself too.
You've rejected several people.
It's not that people aren't interested, it's that you're not interested. You're still figuring yourself out, and you don't need a distraction on that journey. Sometimes you're just not ready to even sit down on a casual date. That's fine too.
You feel like you're not ready for a commitment.
That's also something to work through. You might be the person who casually dates, but probably can't handle the label of a relationship right now. Committing to one person is tough if you've never done it before.
Attention could freak you out.
If you're anything like me, unnecessary attention kind of freaks me out. That's the biggest reason that I don't like my birthday. If you have similar feelings, having many or even one person show you attention is something that needs a gentle stoke to the fire, a slow burn.
The overall idea of it seems kind of scary.
Giving yourself to someone is a lot to handle. You're putting your faith in that one person, your trust. What if they betray that trust? What if you make the wrong choice when it comes down to the wire? There will always be so many "what if's", and not enough reassurance. But, sometimes you have to have a hell of a lot of hope.
You've based your idea of relationships off of others around you.
You've seen your friends or members of your family go through some gnarly relationships, adding to the predisposed fear that things won't work out or that you shouldn't trust anyone. While it is good to take notes of what is good and bad in other's relationships for future reference, it's not good to live in constant worry. Not every relationship is the same. Not every person is a wolf in sheep's clothing. Don't let other's failed relationships dictate how you pursue yours.
Just take notes and move forward. You'll find someone to love and trust, one that returns the same. You'll find someone to laugh with, even in the worst moments. You'll find that person to hold you tight when things get way too real.
But, if any of these sound like you, you should take some time to work on yourself before jumping into a relationship. You're constantly growing and maturing, so there's nothing wrong with taking your time on things.
I wish you luck in your personal growth and finding your person.
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Taylor Swift in a purple coat, captivating the crowd on stage.
Taylor Swift shines on stage in a sparkling outfit and boots.
Taylor Swift and Phoebe Bridgers sharing a joyful duet on stage.
