'Tis the season for engagements.
Pictures of flashy diamond rings, men down on one knee and engagement photos proudly boasting a wedding date overwhelm my Facebook and Instagram. College graduates, college students and even high schoolers who have been dating for less than a year all seem eager to promise the rest of their lives to each other.
All of this talk of marriage at a young age makes me feel old. But as a girl, I must admit I do spend time fantasizing about my dream proposal and Pinterest-perfect wedding.
Almost exactly one year ago, my best friends and I sat wide-eyed, watching proposal videos as we gawked over how lucky each of the girls being proposed to were. As we doted over each well-thought out proposal, my friend Sara stayed quiet.
Sara and her boyfriend had been together for years and we all (including Sara) expected him to pop the question at any moment. Soon I piped up and asked Sara why she wasn’t gushing with visions of her dream proposal.
"I really don't care how it happens. Seriously,” Sara said. “I just want to marry Christopher and spend the rest of my life with him."
Silence filled the room and shame filled our hearts. We all knew exactly how we wanted a man to pop the question and how beautiful we would look standing at the alter, but we hadn’t put any thought into who the person would be standing beside us.
I believe that so many marriages fail today because our minds are not in the right place. How many women are like Sara and are getting engaged because they genuinely want to spend the rest of their life with their fiancé?
Marriage is hard work. In the end, it doesn't matter how creative the proposal was, how big your diamond is, or if you looked flawless on your wedding day. What matters is that you are making a lifelong commitment to another person that you can't imagine your life without.
Next time a shiny ring shows up on your timeline or you are daydreaming about marriage yourself, ask yourself a few questions.
Is our biggest biggest concern with engagement how to announce it on social media? Do we think about the life after the wedding or just the ceremony itself?
Are we concerned about the man down on one knee or just the proposal?
