My whole life I have been labeled as “the shy one” or “the quiet one.” I have always been quiet and when I was younger, I was terribly shy. I would say that I am still a shy person but I have slowly developed my people skills. It isn’t always easy to break out of my comfort zone and talk to other people. When you’re shy, sometimes it’s easier to just hide in your shell. It can take a lot of effort and energy to talk to someone, especially a stranger. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t have a good conversation with a quiet person.
It has been my experience that when you are a quiet person, others will take your silence as an opportunity to talk and talk and talk until they are bored with you or need to get back to their busy lives. Others will ask, “Why do you never say anything?” and then proceed to talk. Some people have told me that I need to talk more and speak out for myself. Others have thought of me as being rude or angry because of my silence. Well, I am speaking out now. Being quiet is not a bad thing. It doesn’t mean that I am rude or angry. Most of the time I do not speak because others are too busy talking to even listen. Other times, my head is so full of things that I am thinking over that I can’t think of a response. The problem is not that I am quiet, but that others do not listen.
One of the reasons that I have been a quiet person is because often times the other person isn’t truly listening. They are too busy with their own agenda to be listening. Another reason is that sometimes it is possible to share too much information. Before I start sharing a lot of personal information, I like to get to know the person on a deeper level. But then there are times that I am quiet simply because there is nothing that I need to say. Small talk has never been interesting to me. I prefer deeper conversations. Words are important and that is why I chose my words carefully.
As a quiet person, I enjoy my quiet time, which means that I need to be completely alone in a quiet place. This is how I recharge. If I am not able to be by myself in a quiet place, then I start to feel drained of all energy. Being around people for long periods of time is exhausting to me. This doesn’t mean that I’m a hermit, it just means that I need my space. When I am with others, I enjoy being with close friends most.
After all of these years of apologizing for the way that I am, I have decided that it really isn’t such a bad thing. Quiet people are different. They are rare. And they can make great friends. Yes, I am a quiet person and I don’t always say a lot. I’m not always good at keeping a conversation or with talking to strangers. But the truth is that being a quiet person is one of the good characteristics about me. Words are so important to me because I am a writer. Good communication is so important, not just for my career but for my personal relationships as well. So, the problem is not that I am quiet. The problem is that others won’t take the time to look past the fact that I am quiet and actually take the time to listen.
