Though she may be known as "America's sweetheart" and the "songbird of our generation," many of Taylor Swift's songs have left me scratching my head. Whether it be a subpar lyrical choic, or my own auditory befuddlement, here are just a few examples where I wonder what Taylor was trying to say, or sing...
1. "Blank Space"
I know I wasn't the only one who mistook the lyrics "a long list of ex lovers" as something involving " Starbucks lovers." Perhaps the latter would be preferable, given that much of her tweenie fan base is more interested in drinking up a Frappuccino than a tall dark man.
2. "Love Story"
Taylor's smash hit "Love Story" was every girl's (and at my high school, every guy's) anthem circa 2008. However, I'm not sure Taylor would have been a star in my English class. The lyrics go "'Cause you were Romeo. I was a scarlet letter, and my daddy said, 'Stay away from Juliet.'" Anyone who even barely passed 10th grade English class will recognize that these literary references do not go together. I imagine Hawthorne and Shakespeare rolled over in their graves. RIP.
3. "The Story of Us"
“Now I’m searching the room for an empty seat ‘cause lately I don’t even know what page you’re on.” He has more than likely closed the book on you, especially after hearing your take on Romeo and Juliet and The Scarlet Letter.
4. "Speak Now"
"And she is yelling at a bridesmaid somewhere back inside a room wearing a gown shaped like a pastry." Now all I can picture is her nemesis looking something like Cupcake from The Bachelorette. Delicious.
5. "Everything Has Changed"
"All I know is you held the door...And all my walls stood tall painted blue, and I'll take them down, take them down and open up the door for you." This dude sounds very gallant. That's a lot of door opening, so keep him around, Taylor. I am a tad confused why the door needs opening if the walls are already down, though... I guess he's just practicing the lost art of chivalry. Don't fall for it. As most of Taylor's other songs suggest, all men are snakes.
6. "Tell Me Why"
“I took a chance. I took a shot, and you might think I’m bulletproof, but I’m not. You took a swing. I took it hard, and down here from the ground, I see who you are.” She takes a shot but she’s not bulletproof—unwise. And she’s dating a guy who hits her? I hope he's not the same gentleman who was so diligent with the door-opening.
So, Taylor, it may be true that "people throw rocks at things that shine" and grammatical strife makes lyrical flow hard. So "go and tell you friends that I'm obsessive and crazy, that's fine." I'll tell mine to pray that the entertainment (not academic) world is where you stay. "Shake it off."
