The more we lose ourselves, the more we find. You may be wondering how or why that is. This is because what we are today is largely based off of our unconscious thoughts and beliefs developed in our childhood which have built traits and habits over time. When we begin to consciously observe the person we have become, and dig deep into the traits and habits in which we no longer wish to have in certain areas of our lives, (ex. jealously, impatience, fear, dependency, guilt) we can begin to uncover the roots of these limiting beliefs, and let go of what no longer serves us.
All of our defects in character has at one point in time served a purpose. Maybe as a child you were babied, and as a result, built a belief you couldn't do things easily on your on your own because most things were done for you. Asking for help later in life brought comfort and made you feel safe, but once you become aware that your dependency on other people is a result of something that happened years ago that you have the power to change, just as you had the power to create, you are free to lose yourself, and find the person who is patiently waiting to emerge. What at one time served a purpose, is now outdated, and in order to thrive, our habits and beliefs need to be updated so they can be in harmony with the person we wish to be.
It all begins with the willingness to accept where we are fully, and have the desire and determination to let go of what we have made "normal" for so long. With this change can come discomfort, fear, and uncertainty, but change is required for personal growth.
"Acceptance means allowing change to happen" - Eckhart Tolle
We don't need to fix anything or anyone. If we simply accept and allow, change and growth is inevitable. Beating ourselves up for being somewhere we don't want to be will only keep us there, so awareness and acceptance of what is, and getting excited and eager about what will be, is the recipe for positive transformation.
Mindartists tip: Begin to dig deep into a habit or trait you may not want anymore, and start to accept it fully. Make an action plan to start supporting the trait you wish to have replace it and hold yourself accountable by telling a loved one your plan.