As I walked into the tattoo parlor, I knew exactly what I wanted my tattoo to look like and I could care less what anyone told me about tattoos being unprofessional and inappropriate. I sat down in the chair and explained my idea to the artist who was very understanding and provided me with what I still consider, the perfect tattoo.

Growing up in the culture that I did, I was not aware that my tattoo could be mistaken for something that was similar in style, but completely different in meaning. The tattoo image below is, as you can tell, different from the tattoo I have on my hand. That did not stop people from asking. The first time I was asked, "Have you been to prison?"

When I told them no, the answer was generally, "Well your tattoo is something that prison inmates get when they are locked up." I was shocked. I explained, baffled, that I have never done anything worth going to prison for, and that I had no idea that prison inmates got dots in the same spot where I got my semicolon.

As I explain to people that my tattoo is not in fact a symbol that I have been to prison, they tend to be curious and want to know the reason behind getting this strange semicolon tattoo on a place that is so visible.

I LOVE TELLING THEM WHY!

I may not have been to a physical prison for some sort of crime. But I have spent the majority of my life struggling with depression. When I was younger, the depression was mild, but as I moved through life

into my adult years it became extremely severe, and manic.

My mind became my prison.

I would wake up some days without the energy to even climb out of bed. I would sleep for 18-22 hours a day, in hopes that the next time I woke up I would not feel as though I was dead, numb and alone.

My first major attempt at suicide landed me in the back of an ambulance, blacking out as the medics tried to help me hold on for a bit longer. I woke up the next morning and my entire life was different. My dorm RA, bless her heart, was there making sure that I was going to wake up and stay awake, and I was surround by family, unsure of why I had attempted.

Then it hit me.

I did not want to die. I did not want to black out and stay blacked out. I love my family. I love my God. I love my education, my friends, my cute little town. I had so much to offer, and here I was laying on a bed that was not mine, watching my family thanking the Lord that I had woken up.

After being put in a respite home, and hours of therapy I became stable again. I got my tattoo of a semicolon because of my survival through this attempt. Project Semicolon was what helped me to realize my potential. The use of a semicolon grammatically is to continue a thought. The idea that someone's story is not over was beautiful to me.

My attempt at suicide was a chapter in my book of life; one that I wish I did not have to go through, but one that helped me find my way to the beauty of life I now create, and find. Project Semicolon is an amazing resource for those who are struggling with depression, self-harm, have lived through an attempt, or are considering to attempt. A short pause, if you are considering, please, please, I implore you, reach out to someone, anyone. I know that I could not have gotten through my struggle alone and I know that every single person is loved intensely by those around them.

So I have not been to a physical prison. I have been stuck in my mind and created a prison that almost cost me my life.

Every time I see my hand, I know that I am loved, I am lucky and I survived.

My story is not over, it's just beginning.