Hello.
It's me.
Adele, don't sue me for copyright infringement.
I'm back at it again with the personal stuff. For those of you who know me, you would probably say that I am the last person to have severe anxiety. I am loud, obnoxious, and virtually never stop speaking.
Well surprise! Guess again.
People like myself experience and deal with social anxiety in a multitude of ways. The stereotype behind having this specific category of anxiety is that the person who has it is very shy and timid. This person probably does not go out very much or have a large number of friends. While there are many people who fit that stereotype, many of us do not.
The only true statement that I can claim for the whole group is that we feel like someone came up from behind us with a plastic Walmart bag and tightly wrapped it around our face to the point where we cannot breathe. Our hearts race, the rush of panic makes us feel like we went on a giant roller coaster too many times, and then our minds go blank. It hinders our daily lives and overwhelms us to the point where we do not know how to go on due to the fact that we think that danger is around every corner. We are plagued by fears, rational and irrational, and are constantly on edge. Some people cannot push through it. Some people succumb to it in order to deal with it. Some people take the medication route. Some people try to deal with it by exercising frequently, sleeping a lot, medicating or confronting their fears head on.
I used to deal with my anxiety by sleeping. I felt that if I was asleep then no one could bother me. I would not have to deal with talking to people, answering phones or texts, or go out with a group to hang out. I was trapped in my own world for a few hours and that was all that I needed. A few hours turned into six or seven hours and that is when I realized that I needed to figure out a different coping mechanism or else I would literally sleep my life away. In order to push through the suffocating fear that engulfs my every fiber, I decided to start being more active. The extra walk I took with my dog or asking my mom to play tennis with me definitely helped me out but I realized that the only way to get over my fear and hatred of talking to people was that I was just going to have to make the effort to stop and politely talk to everyone I see. So, at a young age, I decided that that is how I am going to live my life. That that is how I would get through my fears and to stop myself from bursting into tears.
I dread going up to people and talking to them. I panic when someone calls me on the phone. Answering text messages makes me want to throw my phone across the room and bang my head against a concrete wall. It is true and I do not deny it one bit but I am so much stronger that I have confronted the strange things that make me feel uncomfortable. Breaking out of those phobias have made me feel so empowered. I feel as if that I can take on whatever is thrown at me. Of course, the panic attacks come and go throughout the day but they can be managed. They can be tamed.
Just get to know who yourself and do not be discouraged when a coping mechanism does not work. Keep at it. Something will eventually work and help you get through those dark places.
