Dear Brain,
Hey, I know we've always had our differences but I'm writing this letter to you because, we've both have made mistakes that caused great pain to the person we both have the privilege to be a part of.
It seems when we were just starting out we we're inseparable. Remember when we were in the dark but warm paradise that is known as a womb, and we went somewhere and they placed that cold jelly on the top of the womb to see us. You told me to beat as loud as I could so they could hear us. They were so happy. Even though we didn't understand back then, we were happy. In the darkness, when we needed each other the most, we were there.
But that all changed when we came into the light. Some things we could agree to. We both saw the fire, I wanted to touch it and the first time, you did too, but we learned our lesson. But when it comes to love, we are always torn apart in how to engage in such a thing.
Maybe it's because you over-think everything, or maybe I don't think at all, but I just do my best to keep us alive and well. I honestly don't know what we'd do without you. See, I lose control over everything, every simple touch, every simple laugh, every single 3 am text. But without your tendency to analyze and contemplate, we would be lost in this delusion they call love.
Sometimes we both get hurt, majority of the time, I'm the blame. I really appreciate how you know the perfect to say "I told you so". Sometimes, you're the blame. You know recently, I've started to build a wall around myself, and as soon as I'm almost finished, you give the green light to let another heart in. That's when it hurts the most. That's when I feel like I can't trust you, and I need you.
When we both fall victim to love, it's like we're back in that dark place. But it is no longer warm and it is no longer a paradise. No one is placing a cold jelly on our stomach to see and hear us. Every once in awhile, someone places their head to our chest to hear me beat, but those ears never stay for long. Every once in awhile someone tells you they love they way you think, but those words never stay for long.
Is something wrong with us? Maybe it's us. I'm not saying it's our fault, we did this. I'm saying we just need to strong in unison. I shouldn't have to build a wall to prevent further pain because, you and I are going to work better to create a new and better image to what love is. The kind of love we've gotten so far has been cold and destructive. We know something has to be better. We're going to find a love that is warm and healing.
But this process starts from within. We have to be warm and healing to one another. My love for you and this body is forever and always. I know you feel the same way. I believe in us.
Yours truly,
Heart
