The lights flicked as a light drizzle fell slowly from the sky and all I could do was take a deep breath. Everything in my field of vision was blurry and maybe it was because my eyesight was poor or the fact I didn't want people to know that I was about to shed a tear.
I walked through the gross yet new underground gym hallway. It smelled like mud and grass and hard work. I climbed the concrete stairs listening to the echo of the clanking my cleats made. I firmly twisted the handle praying the door wasn't locked. I walked into the locker room and to my dismay a janitor was in there. Cleaning the grass off the floor and the garbage from the counters. She didn't even turn to acknowledge I was in there. I walked over to where I had placed my bag. I changed out of the dreaded lacrosse skirt and the sweaty jersey into a Tshirt and soccer shorts. I sat on the wooden bench while slipping on my white chucky t's. The repetitive noise of the little janitor wiping off the counter and running the sink was in the background. I felt a drop of sweat roll down my back and then a tear fall down my cheek. It was over. The thing that saved my life was over and done. I sat on the bench thinking about all the beautiful things that came from the past years of playing such an incredible sport. I shivered, knowing it was one of the last times I would walk into that locker room.
I gathered my things and walked out silently, not ever making eye contact with the janitor. I kicked open the first door coming out of the locker room. I always used to get in trouble for doing that but since no one was around I thought I'd amuse myself. I walked through the second door and down a different set of concrete steps. I wiped my face with the jacket I was holding. I pushed open the glass door and walked out into the dark overcast night. The parking lot was mostly empty. Almost everyone had left. I don't blame them, it was late.
I walked slowly to my car as my friend walked by and embraced me. "It was an honor getting to play with you" and then she walked away. I put my head down and veered slightly right to my dark blue Audi. I opened the trunk and I told myself I had to clean it soon. I threw my bag in the back and shut the trunk. I walked back over to the field. The lights had been turned off but the stragglers were still making their way to the parking lot. Everyone was wearing smiles, despite the lost. It was a good day. I realized in that moment that my eyes were filled with tears because it was the end of my career as a high school athlete, but it was the beginning of the rest of my life.
