Can a 10 x 15 sized picture fit in a 4 x 6 sized picture frame? The answer is no; the picture is too big, which makes it unable to fit in the small frame. Only a 4 x 6 sized picture can fit perfectly in a 4 x 6 sized frame, and only a 10 x 15 sized frame can hold a 10 x 15 sized picture. Similar to the limitations placed on the frame and the picture, limitations must exist in every aspect of our lives because these limits allow things to work and function in the manner that they are meant to. Limits must exist in order for order to exist, and once limits are crossed, they can never be uncrossed.
There is a fine line between love and hate, a boundary separating self-confidence and pride, and a small distance between selflessness and foolishness. A limit is all that keeps self-entitlement from turning into narcissism, reliance from turning into codependency, and anger from turning into uncontrollable rage. A limit exists in every relationship, and this limit allows both individuals to remain in their comfort zones; once a limit is crossed in a relationship that was meant to be maintained, the unpredictability and fear of what could happen at any given moment adds a toxicity that did not exist before. Different people have different limits, and each limit deserves to be respected; one person may feel comfortable with physical contact while another may not appreciate being touched. Some people may have an extroverted personality type that allows them to enjoy unlimited social interaction, while others may have limited social energy. The limits that people form for themselves are boundaries that are not meant to be crossed by others.
Sometimes romantic feelings go unreciprocated, and this limit that has been set by one individual is not respected by the other. Throwing phrases like “friendzoned” and “playing hard to get” around serves to invalidate the limit that one person has set on the relationship they share with another person. Attempting to extend past a limit that has been set for your relationship with someone is a sign that you do not respect the person that you have formed that relationship with. Every relationship has different limits; know your limits and do not cross them or let anyone else cross them.
Just as there is a limit in every relationship dynamic, there is also a limit separating selflessness from foolishness. Helping others is a sign of good faith and values, but helping others at your own expense is a sign of imprudence and stupidity. Stop giving 110% to people who do not give even 40% in return. Stop crossing oceans for people who won’t step over puddles for you. Give your respect and your efforts to those who give their respect and efforts to you in return. There must be a give and get, a push and pull, in every relationship dynamic in order for it to be successful and healthy. Helping others is a wonderful thing to do, but only to a certain extent. Stop sacrificing yourself for others and learn to put yourself first. Givers must set limits since takers rarely do.
Limits exist in every scenario that can possibly be imagined; there is a limit between admiration and obsession, happiness and delusion, impulsiveness and reckless, respect and idolization, the list goes on without limit. The key to a happy life is familiarizing yourself with your own limits and enforcing them. Stop trying to push yourself past your limits, but rather learn to maneuver around them so that you can remain comfortable while accomplishing the things you wish to accomplish. Drop the foolish notion that you can overcome your limits if you try hard enough and learn to leverage them instead. Limits exist for a reason, and understanding them and working around them will allow you to be more productive than fighting against them and becoming frustrated with yourself and others. Set limits for yourself, as well as standards. Understand the difference between healthy and unhealthy behaviors and enforce the limits that separate the two. Stay within the boundaries that others set in your relationships and do not force others to cross the limits that they have set for themselves. Use your limits to create a life for yourself that you are proud of.
