To The Person Who Tries To Fix Everything
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

To The Person Who Tries To Fix Everything

Some things are meant to be broken. You can't save everyone.

5017
To The Person Who Tries To Fix Everything
Matthew Wheeler

Maybe you have a superiority complex, or maybe you're too compassionate for your own good. Us fixer-uppers think that we have an adverse effect on everything we do, and everyone we meet. It's not necessarily thinking that we're the center of the universe; rather, instead, it's more like thinking we have the ability and the power to change things for the better or to fix things. As much as I hate to hear it, and have trouble realizing it myself, you can't fix everything. You can't save everyone. In times of tragedy, trauma and stress, you have to save yourself before you try to save the world.

Disney movies and children's television shows have instilled this sense of empathy within us. We seem to think that someone has to be saving the world, and although this may not be possible on a large scale, changing someone's world is a more tangible feat. If you're like me, you have a deep empathy for those that struggle beside you. You sometimes miss the line between helping them and trying to save them. Sometimes it's too late before you realize. Sometimes someone is lost along the way. Sometimes that someone is you.

We aren't trying to fix everything because we have a huge ego. If only it were that easy. We're trying to fix things because we either have a very guilty conscience or have learned to shoulder burdens that we shouldn't. For instance, I try to fix the world sometimes because I can trace everything that is wrong with a certain situation back to myself. Well, my candidate didn't become the nominee, and it's because I got my absentee ballot in too late. Even though there are millions of people who vote in the primaries, I am able to connect myself directly to a problem that I am not directly at fault for. In other situations, some of us have learned to shoulder others' responsibilities, baggage and burdens. We've been in toxic relationships where people literally depend on us. We've had to shoulder not only our issues but someone else's as well. Maybe several other people. We've become an expert at it, even though we shouldn't have. It's kind of sad when you think about it, but taking on other people's problems may become second nature to us.

This guilt and these burdens can be the death of us. We think we can handle it, but we can't, no matter where the source is. Whether it's someone else blaming you, or you're putting the blame on yourself, the guilt is heavy. Whether it's someone else unloading their problems on you, or you taking on too much, the guilt is heavy. It's a lose-lose situation. The weight of the guilt and the burdens can be debilitating. It can have a negative effect on our personalities, on our health and on our relationships. Sometimes, we go so far that we are forced to make a decision. Who gets out clean here: us or them?

I've had to make this decision too many times. Making the decision actually contributes to the problem, because if we choose them, we're choosing to forgo ourselves for the sake of someone else who probably doesn't appreciate us as much as they should. Toxicity will rise. If we choose ourselves, we're blatantly leaving someone, who wasn't our responsibility to begin with but later became one, out to dry. Neither path is easy to choose, nor easy to endure.

I have trouble hearing it, and if you're a repeat fixer-upper, you hate it too. You can't save everyone. You shouldn't try to save everyone. Other people are not your responsibility. You are your main concern. Never stop putting yourself first.

It took me a long time to read and actually process those statements above. I mean, I got it, but I didn't really understand how I was leading myself into danger. Toxic relationships can be blinding. That's what is terrifying about them.

You really can't save everyone. I've learned this the hard way. Some people and some things are meant to be broken. Some people and some things are meant to stay broken so that they can fix themselves. Some people and some things will stay broken forever. Though we may blame ourselves for this, it is not our fault. We weren't put on this Earth to take care of everyone else. If we were, we'd have to learn self-care first, before putting forth the best quality of love and care toward anyone else.

Be your own anchor. If you're going to sink, make sure you're not sinking because you won't let go of another sinking ship. If two ships sink, no one makes it out alive. One ship has to stay afloat. You are your own ship. You are your own anchor. Take care of yourself, and put yourself first, always. No matter what, you are your first priority. It's not selfish, and even if it was, it's okay to be selfish sometimes. If you aren't selfish when it comes to your own mental health and well-being, you may want to try being more selfish. Being selfless all the time is not healthy. Treat yourself. Know your limits. Practice self-love. Stop trying to save the world and the world may just end up saving you.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Lifestyle

Founders Of Color: Rec Room's Dre Taylor On What Blackness Can Look Like And Not Working For Free

"It mattered to me that when we were depicting racial diversity for Rec Room, we showed the broad spectrum of what Blackness can look like."

Rec Room

The world of sustainable fashion is inundated with marketing gimmicks, false advertising, and large corporations cutting corners — Rec Room is the pure antithesis of that.

Keep Reading... Show less

Dunkin' just announced that they'll be releasing their fall menu earlier than ever — set to debut on August 19 — and that it'll include new menu options this season, including a new signature pumpkin spice latte. Let me just say, Starbucks has some fall-menu competition now.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

CBD Lip Balm Is The Calming Presence You Need In Your Life, Trust Me

I tried lip balm, sleep gummies, and an oil dropper from CBDistillery. Here's the final verdict.

@lilyjmoe

CBD has been on making waves within the wellness space for the last few years. Generally related to the treatment of anxiety, insomnia, and chronic pain, it's growing easier to find small CBD companies who are making products specifically designed to fit your needs. As FDA rules for CBD production can be a little hazy, it's true that not all CBD products are created equally. That's why it's important to look into the manufacturing of whatever you're deciding to try, especially if you're new to taking CBD.

As someone who has tried a variety of CBD products — some victories, some failures — I was thrilled when CBDistillery sent me a package of their favorites. They included a Broad Spectrum CBD Oil Tincture, their Nighttime Gummies, and a CBD Lip Balm.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Went To Disney For The First Time Since COVID-19 And It's Officially The Cleanest Place On Earth

I stopped focusing on the pandemic simply because, for the first time in months, I felt safe.

After a few months of self-quarantining, becoming suspicious of every cough, and blowing through masks like a medical school student, restrictions due to the pandemic are easing up a bit and businesses are warily reopening. While these public spaces may look the same on the outside, the way they function and operate is vastly different than a few months ago.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 At-Home Therapy Tips You Need, No Matter What Your Therapy Routine Is

Whether you're in a Zoom session or live-chatting, make sure your home therapy space is good to go.

No matter what stigmas you held about therapy before this year, I'm sure 2020 has affirmed that we could ALL use a nice long therapy session. Between wildfires that took over an entire continent, a global health crisis, and what's sure to be one giant circus of an election in the United States, we need help and we need it now.

The fact of the matter is, therapy has been a helpful, valid resource long before the world decided to become one giant dumpster fire. Having a safe space to discuss what's going on in your life, worries you have, and struggles you're facing has become a very normal thing for individuals' mental health.

Keep Reading... Show less

When it comes to wedding planning, each and every detail is customized to the style of the couple. From venue and decorations to food and beverages, nothing gets overlooked — whether your wedding is big, small, or virtual.

The same thing goes for invites, which are getting more and more beautiful every wedding season. If you're looking to customize your wedding invitations, the options are endless... you can add pictures if you wish, opt for fancy artwork, or keep it simple with just text).

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

23 Burning Questions We Have For The Taureans In Our Lives, Answered By A Taurus

The remaining 11 signs took the bull by the horns, and it was a fun and insightful experience!

Jordyn Leach

Lately, I've been digging deeper into astrology and studying my sign. Throughout the journey, it's come to my attention that Taurus are probably one of the most complicated signs - that is, if you're not a Taurus.

To gain a little more perspective on how my sign is viewed by the others, I requested that the participants submit a question in response to the following:

Keep Reading... Show less
Universal Pictures

A music enthusiast like myself has a playlist for every mood. Life's a movie and you're the main character. In no specific order, listen to these songs to feel on top of the world!

Pro Tip: turn your crossfade up to 3 seconds for a seamless transition between each song!

Keep Reading... Show less

It's the most wonderful time of the year again — it's sorority recruitment season! While recruitment can be a fun and memorable experience, it can also take a toll on your mental health, especially this year, considering the special circumstances brought about by the COVID-19 pandemic. Here are a few reminders to keep in your mental health toolkit during recruitment week to help keep your mental health at bay during this unique experience.

Keep Reading... Show less

We've all been there. You see that super cute guy on your dating app of choice, his bio is funny, and then, the gut-wrenching feeling hits when you see their political views don't exactly line up with yours. He loves Trump, you can't stand him, or vice versa.

A lot of people will say you can get over politics, but I know from personal experience, as well as this survey, that politics play a huge role in whether a relationship will work or if we're even willing to swipe right on that profile.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments