A few months back, I decided to undertake a personal project: take one selfie a week to boost my self-confidence. I never liked selfies, especially ones of myself. I always saw them as superficial and stupid. (Plus, I could never get the lighting right.) But I recently realized that sometimes you have to whip out your front-facing camera and take a few pics that make you feel good, to remind yourself how beautiful you are as a living, breathing, thriving human being.
Self-love (and self-confidence, as well, as the two directly correlate) is a concept that I've struggled with for a good chunk of my 19 years on this planet. The very first moment I remember disliking my body was when I was 11 years old. I looked at my reflection the bathroom mirror one day and noticed that my stomach wasn't completely flat like some other girls at school and on TV, and I can still feel the confusion and disappointment that echoed across my consciousness that day.
That little tummy was the first thing I decided I disliked about myself, and a tiny seed was planted in my brain — a hint of doubt about my own personal worth that would quickly sprout into an entire patch of skeletal weeds, whispering constant negativity.
There were many more over the years: my legs, arms, nose, chin, skin, smile, etc. High school was the lowest point for my confidence because it was impossible not to compare myself to others. My dislike for myself translated directly into my mannerisms, my facial expressions and my general lack of confidence. I would always tell myself that if I could just change this one thing then I'd be happy — truly happy. I poured so much focus into hating those small pieces of myself that I forgot what it was like to be carefree: to live in transcendence from the simple vessel of my body and to enjoy life for its fleeting moments without the reminder of my reflection.
It was only when I started college this past fall that I realized that I had been folding in on myself for so long, and that the only thing that had truly needed changing all those years was my own mindset. I'd spent an irretrievable 8 whole years (which were arguably the most important years for the molding of my growing mind) doubting my self-worth. I was so busy thinking of everything I thought was wrong with how I looked that I almost lost who I really am as a person.
Once I moved to San Francisco, however, my previously skewed idea of beauty transformed into an appreciation for all types of people — all sizes, all styles, all backgrounds. In this new environment I realized just how freakin' cute everyone is! Humans come in all shapes and sizes, and it is not your body that matters; what matters is the light in your eyes when an idea ignites a passion within you or the contagious nature of your genuine laughter.
In connecting to this understanding, I could finally accept myself along with all of my flaws. And the best part is, those flaws don't even feel like flaws anymore. They’re just more pieces in the puzzle that makes me who I am.
My new-found confidence has changed everything. I walk with purpose, smile at everyone I pass and take pride in the fact that I am radiating positive energy. We humans are drawn to those who give off energy like this; other people are more inclined to talk to me once they see the accepting smile that’s plastered on my face pretty much 24/7 these days.
So please, take the time to remember how amazing you are, inside and out. Radiate light. Build up your confidence. Love yourself and those around you. Take as many selfies as you want, if that's what makes you feel good. I still have work to do, but I've never felt happier than I do right now.
