I am writing this in a final kick in the ass to get myself out of a weird slump I seemed to have fallen in the past three weeks. (I am going to blame some cosmic shift for it all, who knows. I also ate out a lot, which probably screwed with my metabolism, thus dragging me down. And maybe I wasn't getting enough water..) There are endless reasons to why I probably slid down the slope of despair, but the point is I had to eventually had to dig my axe into the wall to prevent myself from rolling down the cliff side. I know I sound a little dramatic, but when you are on a consistent healthy balance like I am and you suddenly are sinking in metaphorical quicksand, it can really mess you up. I was desperate to get back to the mental place of waking up happy, smiling, and ready to take on the day. I wasn't sure exactly sure what was happening to me, but I knew that I couldn't live in this space for long.
I had misplaced my vision and I wasn't sure how to find it.
Somewhere between week one and two, I slowly began to sleep more which is a tell sign for me something is wrong. I usually am up and ready at 6am, but I was letting the clock slowly creep to as late as 6:40am and for me, that is practically sleeping in until noon. I realized that the book I borrowed from the library was way overdue and I didn't seem to care I was incurring late fees. I wasn't feeling inspired to write, let alone to go out with my friends. I let myself get stuck in a show that I could easily binge watch and that was that. Thinking back, I think I haven't cooked a proper meal in that time frame either, which is not good for someone like me. Although eating whatever you want feels great in the moment, please heed this piece of advice. Always file it under "It seemed like a good idea at the time." Trust me.
I had to find inspiration again and I was willing to look anywhere.
After whatever day in October it was, I got up one morning, turning on my light. I barely stretched, fully aware of how I had the resonating feelilng of not wanting to go to work. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't leap for joy at the thought of work (working class, can I get an amen?) but I do love my job and I don't loathe going either. My eyes were traveling across my room, searching for some form of hope. Some sign of life outside the grey cloud that overcast my entire being. My eyes fell to a pillow case that I have hung up on my mirror. It's a small throw pillow case that my best friend, Nermina sent me in a care package from Sweden. In the background is a picture of a beautiful canyon and river and on the front in white bold letters it read a message that my eyes were blind to see for the past three weeks.
[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F10%2F19%2F6361251715283380931181626524_14650112_10153781224531431_3964786269940454228_n.jpg%3Foh%3D2c62237dfeb240a12ac737994b18e650%26oe%3D589AF82F&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=978&h=ab241b62b61b0d4eba41c71296b701f4d04cf162af27bf5da7ac3fa78e2d0b64&size=980x&c=1996759566 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F10%252F19%252F6361251715283380931181626524_14650112_10153781224531431_3964786269940454228_n.jpg%253Foh%253D2c62237dfeb240a12ac737994b18e650%2526oe%253D589AF82F%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D978%26h%3Dab241b62b61b0d4eba41c71296b701f4d04cf162af27bf5da7ac3fa78e2d0b64%26size%3D980x%26c%3D1996759566%22%7D" expand=1 original_size="1x1"]
That's all it says.
And that was all I needed to read.
It was as if I was awakened again. I became alarmingly aware of the dark blanket that was enveloping me for the past three weeks. I decided right then and there that I was going to get back on track and I'm gonna share with you how I did it.
1.) I organized my space.
Re-organizing isn't just for spring cleaning. It allows you to physically toss out things that you didn't even know were weighing you down. I have since organized my office at work, my home, and even my purse. I cleaned out my trunk and folded every last stitch of clothing that I decided I was going to toss on my dresser instead of put away properly.
2.) I set clear goals.
Along with organization, came the realization that I hadn't set any goals for this entire month. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise, you function better if you have a little thing called self accountability in your pocket. I immediately wrote down some goals for myself and have been checking them off as I hit them. Remember to pace yourself, though. Don't strive for the sun when you are fresh out of the gate. Take goal setting a mile at a time, one foot in front of the other.
3.) I allowed myself to daydream.
Daydreaming is one of the most underrated ways to help create an ultimate vision plan for yourself. It is perfectly healthy and normal to get lost in the world of your own creation for a little while. I recalled at the beginning of the month I told my friend that I was pretty much "over" a lot of things, including all of the wonderful dreams in my head. Give yourself a break, let loose and even jot down what pops into your head. Who knows, you may make it big!
4.) I am creating a vision board.
I have always loved the idea of an actual vision board, but have never actually executed the process to where I have a board on my wall. I already went out and got a board that I can push pin some pictures to. I am going to adopt this concept as my own moving into November, while getting my practice in for the remaining days of October.
I've found that the actual process of cutting pictures, taping them together, and creating a collage is very soothing. It helps me envision myself in a specific place, time, or even color mood and truly motivates me to be the best that I can be. It takes me to a whole new level of excitement, especially when the thought of travel comes into play.
I cannot stress this enough.
It will pass.
Even when it feels like it won't. I know that I don't need to elaborate on examples for what "it" could be, because sometimes "it" is just that. It is broad, it is undefinable, it can be suffocating, and it can also be freeing. You will get past the one it that is weighing you down and onto the next it where you feel as if you are flying.
Just, do yourself a favor, grab a bottle of water. Take a huge gulp and google something that once brought you joy. Go right to images and scroll through them. Be prepared for the feels. That tingling sensation as your brain sparks to life with images of what could be. Hang onto that, that's the vision part of it all. Feed that. Breathe life into that. Let the it become a to do and let the to do become a way of life.