I’ve been there- obsessing over everything I ate, working out every single day, and weighing myself every morning. If you asked me if what I was doing was healthy, I would tell you yes, because I truly thought it was. I thought that was what being fit was about, but it’s not. I know I’m not the only one that had this perception of fitness, and I feel like this misrepresentation makes people shy away from making choices that would benefit their health. Fitness and healthy living is not about living to the extreme and spending your days eating an abundance of protein bars, but rather about finding your own unique balance and making choices out of love for your mind and body.

Just this past month I was on vacation in Northern Michigan. With vacation comes eating out, and plenty of ice cream because is a vacation even a vacation if you don’t have ice cream? But this kind of situation can be stressful for someone who is trying to be healthy, and I was in that predicament on last year’s vacation. I ordered a salad everywhere we went, and only allowed myself ice cream once, even though I wanted it on other nights, too. The one night that I let myself have some ice cream, I made sure to take a long run the next morning to “undo” what I had done.

This year was so different. I was excited to eat out and I ordered what I truly wanted. Not what I thought would make me weigh the least the next morning, or what had the cleanest ingredients. I just simply ordered whatever my heart desired. Some nights it was healthy, because I love to nourish my body. Other nights it was pizza, because I like pizza and it was out of total love for myself. Did I work out regularly on this vacation? Yes, but not so that I could “earn” the food that I was going to eat, I worked out solely because I wanted to, and because I truly enjoy it. I consumed way more junk food on this year’s vacation than last year’s, but I was healthier this year. My mind was at ease, and every decision that I made was out of love for my body, which is what being healthy is truly about.

Balance is the most important component of living a healthy lifestyle, and often the most forgotten; it pertains to all aspects of your life, not just eating and working out. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health, and if you’re mainly eating salads and working out regularly, when the thought of consuming one slice of cake gives you anxiety, that’s not healthy. Eating should be simple, and exercise should be enjoyed, not experienced as a form of punishment. Restricting and overworking yourself are dangerous habits that can lead to eating and mental disorders.

Once you start pursuing a healthier lifestyle, you do not have to cut out every single thing that you think is bad for you. You can still enjoy your favorite treats in moderation, and it is absolutely unnecessary to kill yourself everyday in the gym, which also isn’t essential when being healthy; you can just find an activity that you enjoy doing and do it. You’ll find that it is nice to do something beneficial for your health, and that working out shouldn’t feel like a burden. Being healthy doesn’t mean eating broccoli even though you hate it and running five miles every morning; you can be healthy while eating foods and doing physical activity that you enjoy, which is also critical for your mental well being.

So if you’re unhappy with your current routine, change it. If you’re overwhelmed and have too much going on, make some quality time for yourself, which may not sound simple, but it is. Don’t forget to put yourself and your happiness first. And please don’t skip the family BBQ because you are scared to eat food that you think is unhealthy. Don’t let food get in the way of living. Don’t let food get in the way of making memories. Eat your vegetables, but don’t forget to eat your cookies, too.