I recently faced the daunting task of cleaning out my bedroom closet. It’s one of those things that you are periodically forced to do if you want to have room for new clothing, or if you’ve simply grown tired of staring at some hideously frilly shirt you dared to wear when you were a freshman in high school, or you have resigned yourself to never again squeezing into a size double zero. Because of my petite stature, many of the items in my closet actually still fit. I haven’t grown a great deal since middle school. This chore got me thinking about the pros and cons of being petite.
Five pros
1. You can make your way through a mass of people surreptitiously.
This can be handy if you are trying to escape a crowded and boring party, because it literally allows you to duck out of sight without anyone noticing. It can also be handy if you are among a large group of people and you want to get to the front, perhaps in order to get a better view when touring an historical site or museum.
2. You can shop in the children’s department, where clothing tends to be far cheaper, and you never need to alter it.
Along the same lines, this summer’s trendy crop tops are not nearly as “cropped” when you wear them, and you can even buy capri jeans and pull them off as full-length.
3. You will be adorable no matter how old you are.
Similarly, everyone will think you are a teenager long after you hit your thirties. Shortness, in other words, is akin to perpetual cuteness and youth.
4. You have plenty of legroom on airplanes.
While the poor guy in the seat to your left literally has his knees up to his chest, and the woman to your right is unable to comfortably cross her legs, you are stretched out with plenty of space to spare.
5. Your size comes with the advantage of surprise.
People will assume you are innocent and naive, like a child. This means you can get away with things that others can’t.
Five cons
1. Your clothes rarely fit properly.
Even the short jeans offered by some companies still need to be hemmed or cuffed. Tunic shirts could literally be worn as dresses. And while we are on the subject of clothes, why is it that clothing stores seem to hang the tiniest sizes at the most inaccessible heights?
2. Your house wasn’t even made for petite people.
There is only one shelf that most vertically challenged people can reach in their own kitchen cabinets, and forget even trying to change lightbulbs without someone’s assistance. The handy dandy step stool is the only answer when faced with these challenges.
3. You are the recipient of unwanted touches.
People will pet the top of your head as if you are a dog. They may inadvertently touch you while trying to be helpful, for example if you are carrying a heavy object and someone insists on grabbing it from you. The absolute worst is those people who want to pick you up, like that muscular frat guy who is certain he can bench press you.
4. You are frequently mistaken for much, much younger than you actually are.
Though this can be a positive (see # 3 above), it can also be quite a negative. You will be carded forever. You will be embarrassed when someone asks you what grade you are in despite the fact that you graduated high school years ago. You will grow tired of waiters offering you the children’s menu.
5. You struggle with sports.
Pools are too deep, so if you are not swimming laps you need to keep moving somehow. Standing is simply not an option. Basketball -- forget it unless you have an impeccable jump shot. Even running is a challenge because at your size you will need to be miles faster to to keep up with your friends.
