That's right: a guy is writing about the perils of modern dating, not a girl. Contrary to popular belief, there are guys out there (such as me) who are looking for that one special person rather than just aimlessly dating. At my current age, I feel as though dating just for the sake of dating is no longer viable. I'm nearing the end of my college career, and I would much rather find someone to share in my experiences rather than someone just to entertain me for a night.
However, it appears I was born in the wrong generation. Dating in this day and age is, more often than not, one big game. Nothing is straightforward, and if you manage to fight your way through the maze and guessing games, then I sincerely applaud you.
The way I see it, these are the stages of dating, nowadays: talking, actually talking (as in both people are interested, but neither actually knows it), casually hanging out, becoming exclusive, going on dates, hanging out as a couple, dating,and then maybe you finally label it as a relationship. For those of you reading this who are not classified as a millennial, this likely sounds very confusing, and that's because it is.
I like to think of myself as slightly old-fashioned in this generation of dating. I don't like to play games. I pay for the first date myself, I actually want to meet the girl's parents when I pick her up for said date and when I arrive at her house to pick her up I'm going to walk up to the door and ring the doorbell rather than texting her to let her know that I've arrived. Girls are typically surprised when I tell them all of that, because those types of efforts are rarely seen anymore.
Meeting people in person has nearly become a thing of the past. I'm guilty of using online ways to meet girls, such as Tinder, but that's because it seems to be the only way to meet people anymore. In my experience, girls don't like being approached at bars or parties, which is basically the only place to truly meet new people anymore. And why would I want to meet someone for the first time while under the influence of alcohol?
If you actually manage to meet a great person and a relationship begins, then you have to navigate the minefield of actually dating. In my opinion, technology and social media has absolutely ruined new age dating. With access to a person's Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Snap Chat, and even their GPS location (via the app Find My Friends) at all times of the day, trust in a relationship is a thing of the past. Every little thing that a person does on social media is put under a microscope and analyzed.
So I see you liked her picture on Instagram. Who is she? How do you know her? Are you cheating on me? Now, I realize every relationship is not like that, but I sincerely believe that this type of stuff goes on more than it did in the past. In my estimation, people are afraid to show their true feelings unless it's in a 140-character tweet or over a text message. The whole concept of modern "dating" seems to be focused on being casual and simply hooking up rather than finding something genuine, and I'm honestly tired of it.
These issues are so easily fixed. If you're not interested in someone, tell them. If you are interested, tell them. Stop playing games and just tell people what you're thinking and be honest. As millennials, we wonder why the older generations look down upon us, and while some of the hate is unjustified in my opinion, this is one issue that is completely justified. Dating has become so complex that many people just don't even bother with it anymore, and it's truly sad.
The day people decide to stop playing with another person's feelings is the day when we stop seeing tweets and posts about why all guys are jerks, or why girls only see all guys as jerks. The games are tiring for all of us, and no one wants to play them anymore.
