On January 9, 2019, I expected to wake up to a normal day, a normal "Good morning, I love you" text from my mom. Instead, I woke up to news media posts on Facebook and a message from a family friend saying "Call me."
At this point, my heart was in my stomach because I knew then something was so wrong. A phone call to my aunt verified it all. I could hear the pain in her voice before I even asked her if it was true. At this moment I knew I lost my mom, my little brother would have to live the rest of his life without her, and more than anything he and I lost our best friend.
She was so much more than just a "mom" to us. She was our hero, our shoulder to cry on, our hugs when we needed it, our go-to, and our forever best friend. She never judged us. She loved us more than anything, and now being a mom myself, I see how much she did without for us.
I wished I would have been able to tell her how much I appreciated her just one more time.
This day will be in our hearts forever. My whole family has changed from this. Not just my brother, her mom, myself, but it has changed everyone. Having a family member murdered due to domestic violence is heartbreaking. Just two months earlier my mother had decided to leave the relationship she was in and had been abused in for years. She was so strong. In those two months she smiled, she had her glow back, she was back to her perfect beautiful self. And I was one proud daughter.
Little did I know the terror we were about to face.
We all had just found out she was leaving him for good. And started to noticed small things about how he really was. But honestly you see the stories on the news or social media and you never think that one day your family will be facing that horrible thing. So even with the multiple phone calls and texts we never in a million years thought she would get murdered.
Afterward, we all said we wished we could have prevented it. But in all honesty, he was such an awful person that he would have gone anywhere at any time to hurt her.
When I look back I know my Mama was terrified. She had every right to be because of the years of abuse she went through. But the woman she was, she never let anyone know how terrified she really was. She always was so strong for all of us. Always smiled and said "It's all going to be OK. I'm happy now and I have y'all and that's all that matters."
I am proud of her. Even though she is not here with us anymore. I'm still so proud of her for being such a strong woman and standing up and leaving him.
In my eyes, she will always be my strong, beautiful, smart, perfect mama! And I'm glad that she was able to spend the months she did with all of our family carefree and smiling.
Domestic violence is a real thing. It's happening every second of every day. To men, women, and children. My mission through Mama's memory is to save lives. I want everyone to know if you are in an abusive relationship, you are not alone. And there are people who love you and would love to help you.
Stand up. Speak Out. Stop the Silence. And shatter domestic violence.
If you or someone you know is in need of help, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline.
