Confidence... some of us have it and some of us don’t. Some of us need a little less and some need a little more. I was recently inspired by an activity that my sorority did during one of our meetings. Each of us had a piece of paper with our names on it scattered around the room there must have been 140 papers or more.
To start we had to write something that we liked about ourselves, so naturally, I wrote that I like my makeup skills. Not exactly what you were supposed to write but there were no specifics so I picked an easy out.
Next, we had to go to as many papers as we could and write something we liked about our sisters. It was a little cheesy, yes, but the impact it had on me was far from that.
I scrambled around the room trying to write as fast as I could in my cursive manuscript with my pink pen. I had only split seconds to write on each paper, but I tried to do my best to put something besides nice or sweet because I wanted to boost my sisters up.
Before I knew it the time was up and we had to wait to collect our papers at the end. When it was time to get my paper I had a scary thought: what if my paper was blank, I immediately shot that thought down when I got to my paper.
I scanned my paper looking for the love you girl’s and yas queen’s, as I analyzed my paper I noticed one word kept standing out: confidence.
If you know me or have read any of my previous articles you might be able to pick up on the fact that I was not a confident person growing up. In fact, I, like many, was insecure and sensitive which is a dangerous combo that makes for a very low self-esteem. I had breakdowns in dressing rooms, barely spoke in some classes and just wanted to blend in with the crowd for the longest time. I didn’t like being me and always wanted what someone else had whether that be a boyfriend, different hair, a higher social status, or especially a skinnier body I had a difficult time loving being me.
Looking at that paper and seeing confidence pop up more than once stunned me. Mainly because I never thought that was a word that could describe me. I never imagined that Becca Steele and confident would go together. But, in fact, they had.
This got me thinking — yeah, I guess I am pretty confident in myself. I no longer do things just to please others. I don’t let people walk all over me for fear of being alone. I dress the way I want to and don’t give a shit what anyone has to say about it. I have gone out for things, not been chosen for them and still managed to be okay. I cut toxic people out of my life. And I finally started giving myself some space for grace.
It amazed me that a simple activity helped me realize how much growth I have had from the wallflower to the girl who found her confidence.
