To The Friend I Lost To Suicide
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

To The Friend I Lost To Suicide

A letter to you

283
To The Friend I Lost To Suicide
Tumblr

I would have never thought this would be something I would write in my life. I never thought that I would be in this position to always ask myself, "Why? What went wrong? What did I not notice? Could I have done something?" We went to school together for many years and I would have never seen it coming. I think often about our last encounter and try to remember every detail of it. You seemed perfectly fine but I remind myself that even those who seem happiest, suffer the most. I'm upset it had to be you. There will be days where you will come across my mind and I will ask myself, "why?" and I will wonder.

To you, my friend, I say:

I am sorry.

It's not just me, but everyone else that shared life with you. I am sorry that I could not be the person to change your mind or save you from what led you to this. I am sorry that there was a pain inside of you that haunted you and took you from us. I am sorry.

You are loved.

No matter what you or your mind said, you were and are always loved. There is not a single person in this world, whose life you didn't touch in the most meaningful of ways. Your humor and kindness rewarded you with never-ending love. Your family, your friends and your coworkers have some kind of love for you. And if there are three words that I would say to you, they would be these: You are loved.

It was not you.

It wasn't. Whether you blamed yourself or not, it wasn't you. Life has its way of unfolding itself and sometimes, the struggles it brings leads us to blame ourselves. But in time of doubt, you should have always remembered that it wasn't you. It was life and you deserved to live the fullest of it (and I know you did).

Lastly,

I hope you have found peace.

There is a quote that says, "We all carry these things inside us that no one else can see. These hold us down like anchors and drown us out at sea." And right now, all I can say is I hope you have been set free from the anchor that tied you down. I hope you are swimming in an ocean of infinite peace, with nothing to hold you back or pull you down. Even though you are no longer here, I hope you have found the peace you longed for in times of sadness, hopelessness and anger.


In Loving Memory of Max Guy Kaufman (1997-2016)

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

108569
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments