An Open Letter To The Friends I Lost Along The Way

An Open Letter To The Friends I Lost Along The Way

"I hope, if nothing else, you remember this: I will always be here for you."
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To all my old friends,

There are days it strikes me as so strange that I don’t talk to you anymore. There are moments when something reminds me of you and I want to let you know, but so much time has passed that contacting you would be weird.

Look at how far we’ve come since those younger carefree days. The real question is, how did we end up here? How did we go from being best friends to practically strangers?

Back when we were friends, I never dreamed there would come a time you would not be in my life. I never meant to lose you, but it just kind of happened. Choices were made that led us both in different directions and now you’re gone. Some of these choices may have been conscious decisions to let go of our friendship and others may have led to our unintentional drifting apart. Some already had all the signs of separation showing before high school ended and some occurred unexpectedly as we progressed through college.

Now your life is foreign to me. I no longer know what’s going on in it, and I wish things were different. But life happened. We drifted apart without really realizing, and now the gap may be just too big to bridge. Given the chance, I’d love to have you back in my life; I miss being around you. Unfortunately, we’re both so busy and living such different lives, that I don’t know if this is a reality anymore.

I want you to know that I am still here for you. It does not matter how much time and distance is between us or how much further apart we may drift, I will always be here for you. If you need me, I’m never more than a phone call away. I once considered you one of my closest friends, and that still means something to me. Life may have separated us, but I still care about you more than you may know. If the day ever comes that you find yourself struggling, I hope you reach out to me. You will always matter to me, no matter where life takes us.

I hope wherever you are in your life, you’re happy. I look at your Facebook photos and your Snapchat videos and hear stories from other friends, and I can tell you are doing amazing things with your life and being the person you were born to be. I hope you’re proud of everything you’ve accomplished so far, because I know I am. Even though our lives don’t overlap anymore, I’m sure you’ve had your share of struggles and successes. You've made tough choices and did what you had to do and you should be proud of everything you’ve done with your life.

To all the friends I lost along the way, I hope you took the time to read this. If you did, please know I’m speaking to you and I mean every word of this. I really do still care and I do miss you all. I recognize that life had different plans for us than we planned for as children. I’m mature enough to know we can’t keep everyone we would like to in our lives. But little things remind me of you and I’ll think of you at the most random of times. I hope you know every time I think of you I send positive thoughts your way; I wish nothing but the best for you. And I hope, if nothing else, you remember this: I will always be here for you.

To everyone else reading this, I hope you’ll share this story for the friends you lost along life’s path. I wrote this as much for you as I did for me. Maybe, like me, you think too much time has passed, that it would be strange to reach out after all this time. Maybe you’re too nervous about how those friends would react. If you’re like me, you wish there was a way to share how much you still care about those who may not be active in your life anymore. I hope this letter will help give you the words and the courage you have been searching for.

And who knows, maybe some of those friends you lost along the way feel the same way.

With love,

Allison

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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17 Phoebe Buffay Quotes We All Still Desperately Need In Our Lives In 2019

Because Phoebe is the one and only GOAT.

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If you're a Friends fan, you know that Phoebe Buffay is the greatest human to have ever (fictionally) lived. She inspires us, makes us laugh, makes us cry, and really does teach some of the most important life lessons. Here are just some of the times Ms. Buffay has spoken to the soul - and 17 quotes we can all make our mantras.

1. "Boyfriends come and go, but this is for life." 

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2. "I'm a really cool person."

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3. "The more I drink, the less is left for the kids to drink."

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4. "I don't even have a pla."

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5. "I may play the fool at times but I'm more than just a pretty blonde girl with an a** that won't quit."

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6. "Hi, it's Phoebe. Someone needs to take my 9 o'clock, because it's, like, 9:15 and I'm not there."

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7. "I'm, like, playing the field. You know, juggling two guys, sowing my wild oats. I'm like this oat-sowing, field-playing juggler."

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8. "Dig a little deeper."

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9. "Don't hate, you don't want to put that out into the universe."

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10. "I'm a pacifist. But when the revolution comes, I'll destroy all of you."

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11. "I have to go before I put your head through a wall."

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"Oh, you Americans always butcher the French language."

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13. "Just calm down, woman!"

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14. "Oh, yeah, that's the word I use when I can't remember the real thing."

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15. "I wish I could, but I don't want to."

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16. "Your love is like a giant pigeon crapping on my heart."

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17. "Is your boyfriend the boss of you?"

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