I remember a time in my life where I would have done anything to keep my eating disorder. It was my choice. It was my battle. It was my life. What right did anyone else have to meddle in my food affairs? Of course, as I healed and re-nourished my dying body, I realized that anorexia was a steep path to destruction and despair. Over the years, most of my fears have faded. I know longer worry about eating bananas, peanut butter, and chocolate; All foods that I deemed unhealthy at my most anorexic state. Yet, I still have fears. I am still haunted by numbers, and I still am taunted by the fear of becoming fat. I hope a day will come when I will walk free from those lingering thoughts.

While there are many of us who are working diligently towards recovery, there are those who work against us. Just as I once wished to continue in my illness, there are others who do just that and take the meaning of Eating Disorder farther. They distort the image of those, like me, who were and are mentally ill and did not choose to get sick. Pro-Ana and Pro-Mia are their names.

Those who have suffered from eating disorders most likely know the meanings of Ana and Mia, but I don’t expect most to know. Just as eating disorder is often shortened into Ed and referred to as a man, Anorexia and Bulimia are too. Anorexia is shortened to Ana and Bulimia is shortened to Mia. They are often referred to in these names in poems, and songs and even images and paintings. Though it can be used for good, naming the diseases has given power to the Pro-Ana and Pro-Mia platforms.

Those who are Pro-Ana or Pro-Mia believe eating disorders are an admirable lifestyle choice. They do not see it as an illness. Pro-Ana and Pro-Mia sites goal is to attain perfection, but not dying. Pro-Ana is not necessarily about making people become anorexic, but rather giving advice to people who already have eating disorders. It is all about the pride of self-control and achievement.

Type Pro-Ana on Google Search and a mass of uncomfortable images and sites will appear. Even on Pinterest, there are hundreds of pictures under Pro-Ana. On these pictures, there are inspiring quotes about losing weight, weight loss tips, and even thinspiration. Thinspiration is just as much a part of the Pro-Ana world as the sites are. These pictures have thin girls and words that are used to motivate starvation and perfectionism.

Pro-Ana sites are a place where anorexics and bulimics go for help rather than recovery centers. This is because of community and wanting to be a better anorexic. Often times, anorexia is noted as the superior eating disorder. Which, might I say, is sick.

I must admit, there was a time in my life where I hung on these sites for advice. While I read, I remember being both angry and desperate. I didn't understand how I could be both. I hated what the sites stood for, but still I clung to the lie they told. I hate that there are girls like me who buy into their advice. I hate that people don’t see that it’s a problem. I hate it all. Most of all, I hate the way our society treats food. We idolize food in every way we can. Pro-Ana and Pro-Mia sites may be doing the worst, but other fads are just as bad. Detoxes, Atkins diet, Military Diet; they all cause the same effect in the end. As a society, we have made food the enemy.