We hear a lot that the number one fear in individuals is public speaking. It is sometimes weighed more than death. Basically, we are saying that lying in a casket surrounded by dirt particles is better than getting up in front of peers, friends and family and speak your mind. Unfortunately, I’m a victim of this fear and I’m sure that so many people could relate. On March 17, 2017, I grew one step closer to overcoming this fear. I gave my first TEDx Talk. Tedx means the event was independently organized. This was Lambert High School’s first TEDx event. A group of 11 other students and I were ready to input our opinions out into the world.

My mind started pondering when trying to think of something to write about. If you know me, you know that I try to be as creative as I can with these types of things. I love to express what I’m thinking. I wanted my talk to be as unique as possible. Something that no one else had talked about before. “Dance” is the first thing that came to my mind when I was thinking about what I’m passionate about. This was it. I was going to give my talk on dance. “How Dance Impacted My Life."

Weeks before the event, there were auditions. I had stayed up the night before until 2:00 am writing my talk. I had the urge to make it a perfect speech. As I laid in bed that night, I imagined myself doing the audition the next day. The worst possible thoughts came to me. What if I skip something? What if I say the wrong thing? What if I don’t make the time mark? What if I go over time!? Nevertheless, I had no option but to get over myself and tell myself that this was going to happen. There was no turning back now. I had to get over this fear at some point, so why not now?

The next school day felt like an eternity. Every minute I could find, I pulled out my speech and reread it to make sure that what I wrote actually made sense. I recited the speech over and over and over to my friends who somehow put up with me and my stress. They kept reassuring me that “I would do fine” and I had “nothing to worry about”. During last period, I found myself constantly glancing over at the clock... My fingers drum nervously against the table in a slow rhythm, the sound echoing through the still classroom. Suddenly, the bell rang. This was it. I rushed upstairs to get to room auditions were being held in. I was informed that I would be the fourth to audition. I sat nervously in the chairs organized in a straight line outside the room. I recited my talk to myself one last time. I took a deep breath and stepped inside the room.

Bing! The notification ringer sounded on my phone. I had a new message. “Speakers will be announced at 8:15 p.m. on Friday!”

This was the time that I knew I would be driving back from dance class itself. It was Friday night, and 8:15 was approaching faster and faster. Repeatedly, I anxiously turned on my phone, waiting for the accepting text to arrive. Right when the clock hit 8:15, I furiously refreshed my messages page. Then it arrived. I clicked on the link and my eyes searched for my name under the list. There I was, the second one listed. A burden of suspense was removed from my heart. Little did I know that this was only half the battle.

It was a week before the event date. We had a practice every morning. It was also a hectic time of the year. I was juggling myself between studies, TedEd and dance. I wanted to excel in everything. My biggest problem was memorizing the speech. I kept trying to memorize it like a script and sounded like a robot. My peers criticized me and helped upon my improvement. At one point, I wanted to give up. It was way too much for me to handle at that point. Then I realized that I did commit myself to this. I gave myself a pep talk while I was reminded that I’m going to actually crush this. With the right amount of practice and confidence, I believed I could do it.

The day of the event slowly approached like a lurking shadow. I practiced every night. Since I was talking about dance and the impqct it had in my life, I had a little 30-second dance bit at the end of the talk. Finally, the day arrived, and it was my time to shine. This is when the anxiousness started getting to me. I was nervous, excited and scared all at the same time. I walked onto the stage as my heartbeat grew faster and faster. I uttered the first few words of my talk. After that, my words just seemed to flow as a river. Like any other human being, I had flaws and mistakes that I could have fixed during the talk. Somehow, I got through it. Then, it was time for me to do my dance. I turned around, standing in my starting position and waiting for the music to play. I could see from the side of my eyes my friends from backstage making hand gestures at me, signaling me that there were some technical difficulties. Their faces were shadowed by the dark backstage, and I tried to understand what they were saying. Confused, I stood there silently with my back turned against the audience waiting for the music to start. Finally, I heard the flute music fill the auditorium space. I started to move my feet and do what I do best, dance. After I was done, my grin slowly morphed into a broad, blinding smile. “Thank you!” I said to my audience as I quickly waddled off stage. I did it.