For several months Republican Nominee for President Donald J. Trump has suggested that the Presidential election is in fact rigged against him. In past weeks as his popularity appeared to sink, these lamentations became both more pointed and more frequent. In the third and final Presidential debate Mr. Trump refused to commit to accepting the election results saying only that he would keep the nation "...in suspense". To many, the idea that an entire election (especially one of this magnitude) could possibly be rigged was outlandish at best. However, to many of Mr. Trump's supporters and citizens more skeptical of government benevolence, these charges have become scripture. To them, the only way Mr. Trump could possibly lose is if the process itself is somehow corrupt.
As a progressive and Clinton supporter, I sought to disprove this theory with facts and statistics. I fully intended to illustrate how utterly impossible it would be to deceive the people on such a massive scale. My research however led me to one singular conclusion: Mr. Trump is correct. This election is rigged. Shocked? Outraged? Convinced that I am a Trump Troll? Read on dear skeptic, read on. Here is what I found:
The first shocking revelation I stumbled upon was the sheer size of this conspiracy. Many assume that to rig an election is as simple as ensuring the complacency or cooperation of poll workers, programmers, and operators. Most would suggest that it relies on large scale voter fraud and underhanded and undemocratic practices. The shocking truth? There are literally millions of people involved.
You might be wondering, how did I uncover the truth about this? You'll be amazed to know the insidious powers that be have been hiding the truth in plain sight. There are mountains of data from hundreds of sources detailing the breadth of the corruption. You can read one source here that compiles all of the data into a singular result. These sources are referred to by a code name among the bourgeois conspirators.
They refer to them as "polls". It turns out that these "polls" are a composite of individual opinions collected by a given polling source (often times respected collegiate research institutions). These sources contact thousands of people and ask them questions about who they are going to vote for among other election related queries. How could this possibly be accurate you ask? Shockingly, these polling sources have developed incredibly thorough scientific methods of data collection to ensure accuracy. They even build in safety measures called 'margins of error" to account for any mistakes or flaws in the methodology. You can read more about that here.
Here is the disturbing conclusion: Based upon these "polls" we can be almost certain that on November 8th more than half of Americas registered voters are going to flood voting centers by the tens of millions and then vote for her. Hillary Clinton and her cronies have been flying all around the country making secret speeches and gathering the millions of minions she needs to pull off this grand conspiracy. In many places, she and her compatriots are even purchasing time on television for the explicit purpose of brainwashing citizens into going to the polls on November 8th. Their code name for this is "campaigning".
Mainstream media wants you to believe that Mr. Trump is losing because he inferred that Mexicans are rapists. Or because he calls women all manner of disgusting epithets. Or because his tax plan would double the national debt. Or because his past business dealings have been rife with fraud and corruption. Or because he wants to discriminate against people coming into this country because of their religion (the complete antithesis to why this country was founded). Or because his businesses have suffered multiple bankruptcies. Or because he hasn't paid taxes in 18 years. Or because he bragged about sexually assaulting women. In reality however, its because of a grand conspiracy rigging the election involving millions of people don't like Donald Trump or his ideas.
Hopefully by now you have realized that this article is primarily satirical. There is no grand conspiracy. The election is not being rigged and factually speaking is practically impossible to rig. Hillary Clinton is winning because she won in the marketplace of ideas. More people will vote for her than for Donald. In the spirit of Democracy, that means she should be our President. We can argue against facts until we are blue in the face. We can point fingers and whine and say things just aren't fair. At the end of the day however, it behooves all of us to step back from conspiratorial sensationalism and critically evaluate the truth. No matter who is president there are endless opportunities for all of us to be a part of our democracy and to help shape a future for our country that fits with our moral ideology. The first step however is preserving the integrity of that democracy. I for one am looking forward to a peaceful transition in power.
