It has already been over a week since D-Hall closed its doors and said goodbye to an era of Buffalo Mash and friendly service. And yet, JMU students are still grieving. As JMU Dining continues to release pictures and tweets bidding our beloved D-Hall adieu, there is a pain that continues to linger. Perhaps this is because there is truly something special about food at JMU. Whether it’s our award-winning dining halls or the fact that our students seem to have bottomless pits as stomachs, it’s no secret that food is truly a staple on our campus. JMU food has become a friend to us Dukes, and we know each dining hall and all the quirks each one encompasses. As my personal tribute to the end of a JMU Dining era, here are some of JMU's favorite dining locations, personified for your hearts and minds to enjoy.
1. D-Hall: The Friend Who Consistently Lets You Down, But You Keep Coming Back To
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No matter how much he gets on your nerves, you always find a way to forgive him due to his charm and consistency. He's your bro, and you totally love him, but sometimes he can really disappoint you. He’s the member of the SCOM group that puts in no effort, leaves for a party without you, and eats all your food without asking. He can really get on your nerves sometimes, but just when you’re about to tell him off, he outstretches his arms and says, “bruh, come on.” And back into your life he goes (until the end of Spring 2016, may he rest in peace).
2. E-Hall: D-Hall’s “Cooler” Younger Brother
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People see E-Hall as the “new and improved” version of D-Hall. He’s a lot more put together and seems to put in more effort in terms of his appearance than his older brother. He wears his hat backward instead of forward, and people seem to like him so much more. But underneath that façade, E-Hall is really exactly the same as his big bro - his inner workings are just a lot more complex.
3. Dukes: The friend who’s always there for you…maybe a little too often.
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Dukes is literally always around. Want to go out tonight? He’s there. Need a study buddy? So there. Netflix Date? He’s already in your apartment. His schedule is 100 percent open, which is a great quality, but it’s a little too open. He’s the friend you can hang out with every once in a while but need breaks from time to time. His smell is a little overbearing, and he's a fan of big crowds. He's a good friend, but you can only handle him in small doses.
4. Top Dog: The Friend You Really Click With, But Is Never Around
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Top Dog is the kind of friend who will see you texted her and then respond three days later. She's great, and you love her, but she’s almost never around. Maybe it's because she's too aloof to realize you genuinely want to hang out with her, or because she's always running from one meeting to another. Whatever the reason, you'll never know because you never see her - no matter how great she is to be around.
5. Market One: The Mom
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Market One is, without a doubt, the "mom" of the friend group. Whether you need something healthy or some comfort, she's always there to take care of you. She's also the one you go to if you need a post-lunch pick-me-up. She genuinely wants to know how your day is going and makes an effort to ensure that you spend your money wisely (shout-out to Dena). Some might complain that she's bland, but she just wants you to be happy and healthy and feels that it's her personal responsibility to do so. (RIP Market One!)
6. Mrs. Green's: The One Who Always Has Their Life Together
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You know her well. She always wears yoga pants from Lululemon and spends her free time at UREC. She's probably a Nursing, Engineering, or COB Major because you can never find her due to her insane schedule. She runs a lean, mean, green machine of a life and she doesn't stop for anyone. She's a fighter for sure, and you really wish you had the motivation to be more like her.
7. Festival: The Party Animal
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This guy is truly the life of the party. He has so much to offer, and not one single part of his personality disappoints. Students walk from the faraway lands of Main Campus just to spend an hour with him. Everyone knows him by name, and the world is just so much better when he's around. The only thing bad I can possibly say about him is that when you party a little too hard with him, your stomach doesn't feel too great the next day.
8. SSC/Bistro 1908: The Catch
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Everyone knows a girl like her. She loves her sorority and her Lily Pulitzer planner is her lifeline. Guys would stand in line for hours just for the chance to talk to her. She's gorgeous and probably has one of the best personalities at JMU. She may take a little while for you to win her over, but once you do, she's truly unforgettable.
Every dining location at JMU is different. Each one comes with its own perks and flaws, but in the end, we are truly grateful for all of them, and couldn't be more thankful to make them part of our journey.
