The first few weeks of talking to someone new is such a thrilling time. Everything is spontaneous, fresh, and you are opening yourself up to someone all over again. Then out of nowhere, you get a chilling thought, “What if this ends up like my last relationship?" No one intentionally thinks this, but these thoughts just slip into our mind. We think of everything that went wrong in our last relationship. We think of the fights, the lies, the broken promises, and of course the aftermath of it all. For those of you out there with these thoughts going through your head, STOP! Take a moment and say to yourself out loud, “What I have with this new person in my life is absolutely NOTHING like what I had with my ex.” We can't let toxic thoughts from previous relationships infect a perfectly new bond with someone else. I’m not saying you should completely forget about your previous relationships. We obviously learn so much from failed relationships, and sometimes we are forced to learn the hard way. However, what we can’t do is allow the fear and disappointment from a previous relationship affect a new one. Believe me, I know it's hard, it feels nearly impossible to open yourself up all over again to someone after you've been let down by someone else you had so much faith in. My best advice is this, focus on what is new and exciting.
Focus on what this new person is doing that your ex didn't. Think about the butterflies you get when you see that person. Think about the fact that you are clicking the restart button and nothing is similar to your last relationship. Think about how you could possibly be with someone who is the polar opposite of your ex. Unfortunately, dating is trial and error, and there is no easy way to sugar coat it. However, in no way, shape, or form does that mean we have to keep up walls and barriers from someone new in our life. Meeting someone new should be a sign that it is time to break down those barriers and allow someone to sweep you off your feet. Every single person you meet won’t be Mr. Perfect, but how will you know if you don't give them the chance? I am the type of person that just lays their cards on the table and is ready to be open from the start, and believe me it took a long time to get there. I want to be open and honest right from the start with high hopes that the other person will do the same. Go into a new relationship and expect the best from someone rather than the worst. Expect that someone will be wonderful rather than disappointing. So for those of you out there who just can't name what you're feeling with someone new, just know you aren't alone and that we have all been there. Give that person the chance to show you how things can be completely different. Be open, spontaneous, and most importantly, give yourself the chance to be surprised by someone truly wonderful. Always remember that you will be swept off your feet when you least expect it.
