Ever been rejected? I'm sure you have. By a friend, a significant other, or an employer. It sucks, right? You give your all, only to be told that your all isn't enough. I think that's why we try our best to surround ourselves with people and things that accept us for who we are.
Unlike most of the world, 4-6 times a year I actually deliberately prepare to be rejected. I intentionally subject myself to evaluation. I present myself to a panel of people who are looking for my strengths and weaknesses in order to decide if I am the right person for the job.
I chose the business of rejection.
I ask myself sometimes why on earth I got into the occupation that I did. I'm not exactly in the rejection business, it's the theater business. But they are kind of the same thing. Performing, it fills my heart up. That is, until the cast list goes up and it's nothing like what I wanted.
I've only been in this business for about six years. In that amount of time, I've done close to 20 shows. No matter how hard I try, every show I walk into I know what part I want. So, in the last 20 or so shows, can you guess how many times I've gotten the role I really wanted?
Once. Not great odds, right?
Just recently, I had an audition for a show that I really wanted to do. There was only one female part, and I wanted it. When it came time for callbacks, I found out that they were only bringing back two girls and I was one of them. I was over the moon.
In the callback, it was clear that the other actress and I were different. We made different choices, and we saw the character differently. By the time we were almost done, I was feeling pretty good. Not really because I thought that I was better, but because I knew that when they cast this show it would be less about me and more about them.
Let me explain.
I think that rejection hurts our hearts so much because we take it as a reflection of who we are. The thing is, most of the time when you get rejected the "it's not you, it's me" is actually the truth.
It's a simple truth, but it can be so hard to grapple with. I still don't do an awesome job dealing with it. See, when I found out that the other actress was cast in the part I wanted, I still wondered, "Well, what if my hair had been lighter?" The truth of the matter is, that if I were truly the right person for the job, they would have given it to me.
If you are the right person for that job or relationship, you'll get it. If not, well, it's not you, it's them.
