Dating yourself sounds way cooler than being single, right? Let's make it a thing. Please.
I've been going steady with myself for ten months and counting, so you can say it's getting pretty serious. This sequence of days, weeks, and months has been a time of struggle, a time of healing, and most importantly, a time of self-love. They say you must love yourself before you can ever love another, and the only way you can truly learn to love yourself is to form a relationship with yourself. It's human nature to have a crippling fear of being alone, and we combat this by settling for less than we deserve. We want others to love and accept us for who we are before we even know who we are. We idealize romance and demonize aloneness, and view the single life as a wild time of freedom rather than self-growth. Dating yourself truly is an art, and here's why you should master it.
First off, dating yourself rocks because you don't have to worry about anybody else except for yourself. It's pretty tough dealing my own thoughts, let alone those of another human being. You won't have to worry about saying the wrong thing, doing something stupid, or embarrassing yourself consistently because even if you judge everyone around you, you will never judge yourself! On a serious note, though, you are free of the bond to another and are given total permission to do what you want. In a relationship, you always have to consider and be sensitive to the feelings and desires of another person and often lose sight of your own. When you date yourself, you're allowed the time to focus on you-your wants, needs, goals, feelings, thoughts, insecurities, fears, the list goes on and on.
Relationships require a lot of time and effort. It's important to put the same amount of effort into yourself while you're on your own in order to grow as a person. Your goal should be to better yourself and to strive for progress rather than perfection. Set little goals for yourself and track your progress in order to ensure that you really are working on you. Start with things like, "I want to listen to my feelings more," or "I want to do something I love for at least five minutes every day." Of course those are broad and quite vague, but they're just examples. Listen to yourself. Communicate with yourself very clearly, and make sure you understand your own thoughts and feelings (and how to distinguish between the two). That's what you'd do with your partner, right? Why wouldn't you treat yourself the same?
Most relationships turn sour when one person tries to change the other or when it turns one-sided, and often times we treat ourselves the same way. We get down on ourselves and don't cut nearly enough slack. We think, "I'm getting fat," or, "nobody will love me like this" when really, we're wrong. So wrong. Public service announcement: you're perfect the way you are and you don't need someone else's approval in order to be legitimate. Let's destroy the idea that we aren't good enough. Everything we seek is already inside of us, we just have to unlock it. Don't change yourself, but improve yourself; pick up a hobby, do the thing you've always wanted but have been to afraid to, recognize your weaknesses and use them to your advantage, and (please) try to see reality for what it is. It's a long road, but it's incredibly worth it.
Along with the idea that we aren't good enough, let's destroy the idea that doing things by ourselves makes us lame. Most of us are in college or beyond now and should probably realize that being alone is better than dealing with other people, am I right? All jokes aside, it's okay to go places alone. Eating a fabulous meal at a sit-down restaurant is just as good by yourself as it would be with somebody sitting across from you. Doing things by yourself shows a sense of independence and autonomy and allows you to build self-esteem. Take yourself to dinner. Go to that concert that none of your friends want to see. Buy yourself that dress you've been eyeing. In short, treat yo self. Because you deserve it and because nobody else is going to do it for you.
Art is a practice-that means perfection is nonexistent, and the same goes for loving yourself. Love takes commitment, and it's so imperative to fall in love with yourself before you fall for anyone else. It won't always be easy and that's a promise; there will be days when you feel lower than ever, but you must realize that this too shall pass. There will be days when you're happy with who you are and where you're at in life, and I wish you plenty of those. Cherish yourself, treat yourself, date yourself. And when the time comes, you'll know it's right.
