After a breakup, there are days where you don’t want to get out of bed. There’s nothing wrong with giving yourself time to grieve, but don’t get caught up in the first phase for too long. It’s important to remember that there are other guys out there looking for a girl as perfect and beautiful as you, but they don’t want to date a girl who’s hung up on her ex.
If you ever want a chance with "Mr. Right," you have to go through the phases of getting over your ex, first.
Phase 1: Being Broken
Your friends tell you that everything will be okay, but you aren’t ready to hear that yet. You’re not ready to admit that it’s over. Part of you is still hoping he changes his mind. You really thought he was the one. You wish you could make him feel the pain that you’re feeling. You wish you could hate him, but you don’t. You would’ve done anything for him. And you’d take him back in a heartbeat if he texted you right now.
Phase 2: Admitting It’s Over
You’re finally able to talk about it without bursting into tears. You tell your friends what happened. They all apologize and say “you can do so much better.” You nod your head and say “I know,” and “it’s okay.” But you still believe, deep down, that he was supposed to be the one.
Phase 3: Missing Him
He was the one you ran to with good news and bad. Just the sound of his voice made your bad days better. You wish he could comfort you right now. It’s been a long day and he’s the only one who understands what’s wrong. He was the one you told everything to. He was your best friend.
You’re not hurting anymore because you’ve learned to ignore the pain and that life goes on, but you still wish he was around. You had a routine. You had a life together. You’re still trying to figure out how to live without him; how to get groceries and run errands without him; how to make plans on the weekends without him; how to fall asleep at night without him.
By now, you may have admitted to yourself that your relationship wasn’t perfect and that there are other guys out there, but the hardest part is starting over. You were used to your routine. You were used to having someone that knew everything about you. And now, you're just wishing he was there to talk to.
Phase 4: Realizing You Don’t “Need” Him
You’ve managed to get through a whole day without missing him. You even fell asleep last night without wishing he was there. All of those feelings you had for him are finally starting to fade. The fading process is slow though. There’s no option to “rip the Band-Aid off.” They have to go away on their own.
Phase 5: Seeing Him Move On
You think you’re over him, and then his relationship status changes. You start hurting again. Your last glimmer of hope is gone. Getting back together is no longer an option and the pain of realizing this hurts. You weren’t done loving him. You weren’t ready to let someone else have him. You weren’t ready to see him happy again. You weren’t ready for him to be over you.
Phase 6: Moving On
If he’s going out with someone new, then so should you. You have to take the time to date around. Don’t dive into another relationship too soon. If you do, you may end up breaking their heart the way your ex broke yours. Rebound relationships always end badly.
Phase 7: Wondering How You Ever Dated Him
Once you’ve found someone better, you’ll look back and wonder how you ever settled for anyone else, especially that loser of an ex.
