The 37 Commandments Of Girl Code

The 37 Commandments Of Girl Code

A guide to being the best girl you can be.
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Girl code--it's a secret honor code system that bonds all females. The code is unwritten, unspoken, and unbreakable. Here are 37 of the most sacred Commandments of the code to live by.

1. Thou shall not date a friend's ex.

2. Thou shall not let a friend go to the bathroom alone.

3. Thou shall not ditch a friend when going out together--especially if it's just the two of you.

4. Thou shall not ditch a drunk friend, regardless of how annoying they are.

5. Thou shall give a tampon to any girl in need.

6. Thou shall be honest when a friend asks "how's my outfit?"

7. But be nice if it doesn't flatter her, and then help her pick another one.

8. Thou shall be nice to your friend's boyfriend, even if you don't like him.

9. Unless he is disrespectful and abusive towards her, you will not interfere with their relationship.

10. That means no bad-mouthing or secretly scheming to break them up.

11. That being said, if they do break up, thou shall promptly arrive at her door with a tub of ice cream, sad movies, and tissues and cancel all your other plans for that week.

12. Thou shall always provide a shoulder to cry on.

13. Thou shall remain loyal to the phrase "Sisters before Misters."

14. Thou shall share food, not boys.

15. Even if the boy is the one making the food.

16. If you and your friend both like the same guy, neither of you will pursue him.

17. Even if he's really cute and asks you out.

18. Thou shall provide a sympathetic listening ear when your friend complains about her boy drama.

19. And forget about it and not get mad when she forgives him the next day.

20. Thou shall give dirty looks to your friends ex.

21. And dislike everyone she hates.

22. Thou shall not date or hook up with your friend's best guy friend.

23. Unless you ask her first and she gives you her blessing.

24. Thou shall call your friend faking an emergency if she needs to escape a bad date.

25. Thou shall take your friends secrets to the grave.

26. Thou shall never tell your friend to "chill out," "calm down," or "relaaaaaaax" when she is pissed off.

27. Even if she's being dramatic, let her vent it out.

28. Thou shall stand up for your friend both in front of her and behind her back.

29. Thou shall tell your friend when she has food in her teeth.

30. Thou shall be honest with your friend and talk out your issues when you fight, rather than being passive-aggressive towards them.

31. Thou shall tap your friend out when she drinks a little too much.

32. Thou shall save your friend when she is being hit on by creeps.

33. Thou shall not let your friend send that 2 a.m. drunk text.

34. Thou shall always help boost your friend's confidence.

35. Thou shall respect and learn from other women's successes, rather than belittle them or tear them down.

36. Thou shall like all your friend's posts, pictures, and most importantly, selfies.

37. Thou shall adhere to the girl code religiously and be the best BFF possible.

Cover Image Credit: Tumblr.com

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To The Person Who Feels Suicidal But Doesn't Want To Die

Suicidal thoughts are not black and white.
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Everyone assumes that if you have suicidal thoughts that means you want to die.

Suicidal thoughts are thought of in such black and white terms. Either you have suicidal thoughts and you want to die, or you don't have suicidal thoughts and you want to live. What most people don't understand is there are some stuck in the gray area of those two statements, I for one am one of them.

I've had suicidal thoughts since I was a kid.

My first recollection of it was when I came home after school one day and got in trouble; and while I was just sitting in the dining room I kept thinking, “I wonder what it would be like to take a knife from the kitchen and just shove it into my stomach." I didn't want to die, or even hurt myself for that matter. But those thoughts haven't stopped since.

I've thought about going into the bathroom and taking every single pill I could find and just drifting to sleep and never waking back up, I've thought about hurting myself to take the pain away, just a few days ago on my way to work I thought about driving my car straight into a tree. But I didn't. Why? Because even though that urge was so strong, I didn't want to die. I still don't, I don't want my life to end.

I don't think I've ever told anyone about these feelings. I don't want others to worry because the first thing anyone thinks when you tell them you have thoughts about hurting or killing yourself is that you're absolutely going to do it and they begin to panic. Yes, I have suicidal thoughts, but I don't want to die.

It's a confusing feeling, it's a scary feeling.

When the depression takes over you feel like you aren't in control. It's like you're drowning.

Every bad memory, every single thing that hurt you, every bad thing you've ever done comes back and grabs you by the ankle and drags you back under the water just as you're about the reach the surface. It's suffocating and not being able to do anything about it.

The hardest part is you never know when these thoughts are going to come. Some days you're just so happy and can't believe how good your life is, and the very next day you could be alone in a dark room unable to see because of the tears welling up in your eyes and thinking you'd be better off dead. You feel alone, you feel like a burden to everyone around you, you feel like the world would be better off without you. I wish it was something I could just turn off but I can't, no matter how hard I try.

These feelings come in waves.

It feels like you're swimming and the sun is shining and you're having a great time, until a wave comes and sucks you under into the darkness of the water. No matter how hard you try to reach the surface again a new wave comes and hits you back under again, and again, and again.

And then it just stops.

But you never know when the next wave is going to come. You never know when you're going to be sucked back under.

I always wondered if I was the only one like this.

It didn't make any sense to me, how did I think about suicide so often but not want to die? But I was thinking about it in black and white, I thought I wasn't allowed to have those feelings since I wasn't going to act on them. But then I read articles much like this one and I realized I'm not the only one. Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, and my feelings are valid.

To everyone who feels this way, you aren't alone.

I thought I was for the longest time, I thought I was the only one who felt this way and I didn't understand how I could feel this way. But please, I implore you to talk to someone, anyone, about the way you're feeling; whether it be a family member, significant other, a friend, a therapist.

My biggest mistake all these years was never telling anyone how I feel in fear that they would either brush me off because “who could be suicidal but not want to die," or panic and try to commit me to a hospital or something. Writing this article has been the greatest feeling of relief I've felt in a long time, talking about it helps. I know it's scary to tell people how you're feeling, but you're not alone and you don't have to go through this alone.

Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, your feelings are valid, and there are people here for you, you are not alone.

If you're thinking about hurting yourself please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or visit suicidepreventionhotline.org to live chat with someone. Help it out there and you are not alone.


Cover Image Credit: BengaliClicker

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To The One Overthinking Everything, Know That It All Will Work Out

Part of living a good life is relinquishing your desire to control things that, in reality, you cannot and accepting that it's impossible to have everything together.

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You are not alone, you are not crazy and you can be better. Hi, my name's Alex and I overthink everything. Count on me to turn something as simple as what to eat for breakfast into an ultimatum that, in my mind, will somehow alter whether my kids are musical or not. If you think about it (but not too much), overthinking things makes perfect sense. Most things in life are part of a process of uncertainty reduction; we are frightened most by what we do not know or do not understand. We seek comfort in being able to anticipate what is going to happen and we crave having some kind of control over even the most unpredictable things. This doesn't rationalize overthinking, but it makes sense. In thinking, like everything else, we must remember that the key is doing things in moderation. Also, awareness is the first step to reform, isn't it?

There's a difference between thinking ahead and over-analyzing a situation. It can be advantageous to think ahead and explore different outcomes, especially when making an important decision. Knowing your options and weighing the benefits and repercussions of a situation is essential to making good decisions. However, exploring possible outcomes can easily lead you to think of highly improbable situations that will end up stressing you out. I pride myself in being mentally present and constantly thinking, however, pair this with the overactive imagination that I have and you create a monster. The price you pay for having a mind that's constantly shifting from thought to thought is that the likelihood of mentally stumbling upon unnecessarily stressful scenarios is elevated. You have to learn how to conserve your mental energy and filter out what is and isn't important to think about. It's also a matter of knowing when to cut yourself off, something college kids should also apply to... other aspects of their lives.

I believe that part of the problem lies in the content we consume. Every social media outlet perpetuates this image of living the "perfect life" created by celebrities, bloggers and YouTubers. Even in sharing their more personal, raw moments they are idolized and labeled as "having it together." No one ever has, or ever will truly have it together. Earlier this week, a picture of an egg became the most liked photo on Instagram just for some memes. If this doesn't snap you out of whatever trance social media may have you in, I don't know what will. But this isn't to say you can't live a successful, fulfilling life if you don't have it together. My point is quite the opposite. Part of living a good life is accepting that you can't control everything.

Part of curbing the bad habit is relinquishing your desire to control things that, in reality, you cannot while accepting that it's impossible to have everything together. It's okay not to have all the answers, especially at this age. What you don't want is your own thoughts and assumptions to be a hindrance to the natural course of events where the possibilities are truly endless. I didn't realize how much I overthought things until it became painfully derisive to how I functioned. It's something that I'm working on to this day. I am incredibly blessed to have friends who call me out on it and help me to calm down and recalibrate my mindset.

In life, we walk along a path that is paved by our experiences and the choices we make. By solely looking ahead, we miss the pebbles and cracks in the pavement that will inevitably cause us to stumble and fall into setbacks. Don't focus so much on mere possibilities that you miss out on learning from and enjoying what is already happening.

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